


Hidden

by Autumnal_Leaves



Series: Hidden [1]
Category: Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan (2020), Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan (2020) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Politics, Aman wears a belly chain, And it happens with the one of the main characters, Assassination, Blood and Violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, Flowers are important, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Karthik loves it, M/M, Minor Character Death, Near Death Experiences, Original Characters - Freeform, Plays a major role in the fic, Political AU, Political corruptions, Politician Kartik Singh, Politician Shankar Tripathi, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rival Party/Parties, Secret Relationship, Shakespeare Quotations, Smut, University Student Aman, Very graphic, opposition party, timeline jumps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:01:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 34,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23118880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Autumnal_Leaves/pseuds/Autumnal_Leaves
Summary: "Election me toh humare baba se unke seat leh liya aapne. Ab unke bete ka haath leh saakte hain sabke saamne se seh?"- "aapke mohabbat ke liye toh maut bhi leh saakte hain hum"."You have took my father's seat in the elections. Can you take his son's hand from him?""I can even take death for your love.".Set against the backdrop of old Delhi, where political prowess was going strong at that time, in the dark reality, loved bloomed between two individuals. Unexpectedly but inevitably.Karthik and Aman, two people from two poles opposite houses soon find themselves in a tale of Shakespearean dramatic life.And both know its going to be one unforgivable, star crossed, harsh realistic story....But it will be a story of their own!
Relationships: Kartik Singh/Aman Tripathi
Series: Hidden [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2075514
Comments: 195
Kudos: 236





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I finally updated this fic. I am glad....

based on the political background in the early last decade of around 2000s. because politics at that time especially in Delhi was really strong. BUT IT WILL MAINLY BE A LOVE STORY. Homosexuality will be as natural, maybe with a little, very little homophobia. hope you guys like it!!!

A global pandemic is going on. So please stay at home. wash hands frequently. **And try to boost up your immunity.** It's the most important. drink plenty of water. I wish everyone's well being. We can all fight this. 

treat people with kindness. 


	2. I pray you do not fall in love with thee; for I am falser than vows made in wine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I pray you do not fall in love with thee; for I am falser than vows made in wine"  
> \- As You Like It; Act 3 Scene 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hindi vers. is in italics.... cause the hindi was needed...  
> and the english vers. is underlined, so you can distinguish easily.

_Only seven minutes to 5 o’clock._

Karthik now knows he is busted. And looking at his watch repeatedly can do nothing.

Because the clock will neither turn ticking backwards even if Karthik continues glaring as much as he can nor it will stop giving him THE constant reminder _who_ gifted it to him!

Every passing moment is pricking Karthik to his core.

‘Arrrggh!!’, Karthik growls. For fuck’s sake it’s his **third year anniversary**.

And he’s stuck in his cabin with an equally important anxious news that will come. Thus now is the perfect time to be angry with his choice of profession and lifestyle. At many points, Karthik even blames it, but he remembers, that this profession is the sole reason why he is loved now. He knew all the opportunities that will come being in the politics. And all the greater harsh realities and inhumane, selfish activities that comes forward with it. But he has chosen this life. Being in politics doesn’t always mean corruption. On the greater side it means the ability to lead your country, to set examples on the generations to come.

But that does not stop the bitterness that bombs up within him. His party has only donated money to the local development group for building up the bridge in Raj Nagar. And the opposition ruling party had made such a big fuss out of it. Even up to the point of shutting down all the works.

Opposition says AIDP has done it only to garner votes in the upcoming elections and doing public works against the will of State Government. And Karthik is very much glad to point out, they have at least done it, the job that should have been done by the state government five years back. They say AIDP is stealing their opportunities. Public threw back that AIDP has only done what had to be done.

This time Karthik knew the Janata had their backs. _It’s time for a change_.

So the deal was led simple and clear in front of Pragritishil Swadesh Alliance. Either they complete the construction with their own fund, or let AIDP do their job peacefully. It is simple negotiation. Because the construction has to be done. Their Janata demands it.

And Karthik is more than ready to carry out the construction in his city, under his vigilance. He so very wants his opponent to agree the deal with them. His people look up to him, calls him the new generation leader and expects promises from his young tongue. Not the corrupted old words spitted by Shankar Tripathi.

Shankar Tripathi.

The man, if possible, Karthik wants to stab a dagger or drop a bomb on. Every ounce of his flesh loathes him. The man who never spares the opportunity to offence him and drags down his status. Karthik only sees fire when he hears his name.

_But…_

Karthik’s lips grown into a fond smile. His ears and neck becomes hot with giddiness. Because this evil man can also give him positive vibes. As the said evil man has fathered the best human being Karthik can ever love.

He shifts from his reverie and pulls out his wallet. Behind the transparent cover inside lies two photograph. Passport size. One of his mother smiling back at him with all the love and depicting a promise she will always protect him from wherever she will be.

And the other picture of a person, Karthik shall marry one day. It shows a man oozing out heavenly beauty and a determination to hold Karthik forever.

The man he loves, Aman Tripathi.

Watching the photos, Karthik feels a little peace within as he leans back on his swivel chair. And today is such an important day, and Karthik absolutely hates himself now for making Aman wait for their appointment.

Just then a man in white kurta comes through the door. One of his fellow assistant, Vikrant. Karthik anxiously straightens up, _“kya khabar hain?”_ (what is the news?”)

“Sir!”, Vikrant breaks into a smile, “ _opposition party ne negotiation kar liya hain. Kehe rehe ki construction ke kaam AIDP hi karega._ ” (“opposition party have negotiated saying AIDP will do the work from now on).

Karthik breathes a huff. Vikrant carries on, _“elections ke pehele utna fund nahi hain unke paas. Iss liye hi shayad---"_ (they don’t have much fund before the elections. Maybe that’s why--)

 _“jo bhi ho, usse farak nahi padta!”_ , Karthik immediately stands up, _“ye humari jeet hain elections ke pehele. Ab Janata ko jo wadeh kiye hain, use nibhana padega. Tabhi votes aayenge. Hain na?”_ (whatever it is doesn’t matter. This is our win before the elections. Now all we have to do is to fulfil our promises to the citizens. Then only votes will be on us. Isn’t it?) 

“ji sir!”, Vikrant nods smiling, _“Janata ko bohot ummid hain aapse”_ (yes, sir! People expects a lot from you)

Karthik smiles somewhat feeling a little proud of himself. He straight ens his hair, _“toh lag jao kaam pe ” _(then go ahead with the work). He dismisses Vikrant.

Now Karthik has to go for the most important work and necessary part of the day.

Facing the wrath of his waiting lover.

 _“Alok, bahar jana hain, abhi!”_ , he calls out to his bodyguard. (We have to go out now, Alok)

Nodding to the security outside the front door, who gives him a salute, Karthik enters at the back of the white ambassador waiting out for him. His bodyguard, Alok also follows him in the passenger seat.

“ _sirf chowk tak jana hain, Chowdhury ji_.” He tells the driver. (drop me at the chowk, Chowdhury ji)

“ _ji chote sahab_ ” Chowdhury doesn’t ask him more. Cause it’s not the first time he has taken him there. And Karthik is glad his personal driver never cross questioned him.

Their car passes through the high streets to the market places. Karthik watches the passing scenarios, people buying and selling stuffs; jewelleries, clothes, vegetables.. all kind of stuffs. He prepares a mental speech in the time being ‘Aman, baby, I am sorry, the work was too heavy…..’ when suddenly he sees a huge flower shop.

“ _Chowdhury ji, zara wo phulon ki dukan me rokiye!_ ”. Damn he HAS to buy something. He can’t go bare hands. And how the hell he couldn’t even buy a gift? A simple ring would have been okay too. But no! Karthik Singh was too much busy over his job. (Chowdhury ji! Stop at that flower shop)

Karthik goes into the shop, once the car pulls over. He inspects through the various flowers. Roses was his first choice. But nah! Too predictable, and Aman too doesn’t favour roses that much. Hydrangea, Tuberoses, Orchids all spike out, when lastly his eyes fell on small sized blue Calla lilies.

Perfect!

Just like Aman, and Aman’s one of the favourites.

He buys a bunch of those, trying to be quiet discrete of his identity. It was not that a problem since the store is quiet empty, and the owner is very elderly.

He looks down at his watch. Its already past 5:20. _“jaldi karna hain Alok! Abhi bhi 15 minute ka safar hain”_ (we have to hurry. It’s gonna be another 15 mins.)

Alok just smirks. ‘there’s one person our chote sahab is really afraid of’, he thinks. But dares not to say.

It is a open road in an empty, very simple colony. Just like old Delhi always is. They always stand here. Old houses raise on the either sides of the road. Clothes hanging on the roofs, cable wires hanging low, and children playing on the streets. Many hideouts can be easily found out for the hidden. And in one of these houses has been Karthik’s favourite spot in whole Delhi since last 3 years.

Alok stays back at the base of the stairs, as Chowdhury leaves them before a grey coloured house. Without sparing another word, Karthik tugs the flower bouquet under his arms, and climb the stairs. Crossing the corridor, he comes in front of a room. Ravi, in his attire is standing there.

He smirks on seeing Karthik. And as he comes near him he clearly says, _“aaj toh tu geya!”_ (you are gone for now)

The young politician balks in his confidence, “ _aise maat bol, yaar! Daar lagta hain_ ” (don’t say like this yaar! I am shit scared)

“darna chahiye bhi! CM ka beta hain wo.” Ravi laughs, “ _Jaldi andar ja. Kabse wait kar raha hain_ ”. (you should be! He is our CM’s son. Now go quickly. He’s waiting for you)

Gulping down a dry throat, Karthik accumulates courage. What shall happen more? His lover will shout at him. Which he rightfully deserves. But he vows to shower him with all the love and tenderness afterwards.

Beside the window on the other side of the room, there stands a boy clad in soft mauve kurta and khakis, looking over the city of Delhi below, his back to Karthik . Light evening breeze caresses his hair and the twilight shade falls on his bronze skin. Watching the scenario in front of him, Karthik can never stop being drunk in love. To whatever consequences he promises never to make the person wait for him, any day of his life. His love deserves the best of this mankind.

Karthik quietly walks towards him and stands behind him, peppered a small kiss on his shoulder.

The height really helps!

He hears a small chuckle coming from his lover.

“Aman?” he calls as softly as possible. Guilt evident in it.

“happy 3rd year anniversary, mantri sahab!”, Aman turns to face him, a small smile gracing his lips. Which Karthik never expected. At All. But that makes him gather some courage seeing Aman’s tender face.

Karthik smiles back too, “happy anniversary, babu! But I’m sorry, socha nahi tha ki itni der---” (never thought I will be--)

“sshhh..”, Aman presses his index to his chapped lips, “ _sorry bolne ki zarurat nahi hain. Hume pata tha aap aaj late ho saakte hain. Aaj kal toh bohot busy rehte hain. Yeh din aapko yaad hain yehi kaafi hain_ ”, Aman breaks into his sunshine smile, hugging Karthik the best he can. (no need to tell sorry. I knew you were gonna be late today. You are a lot busy these days. I am just glad you remembered today)

“ _Aapke baba bohot busy raakhte hain hume._ ” Karthik pouts as he snuggles his face into Aman’s neck. “ _warna jaldi hi aa jate_.” (your father keeps me a lot busy. Otherwise I would have arrived much earlier)

Aman bursts into laughter. Obviously the situation is quiet funny for him. And he does understand the problem. “ _Baba pichli raat bol rehe the, aaj ka din bohot vari padega aapko. Is liye hi toh gussa nahi ho raha hain._ ”he softly kisses karthik’s cheeks. “ _chad pe chalte hain_ ” (father was telling yesterday night that he will make today quite a hard day for you. That’s why I am not at all angry. Now let’s go to the terrace.)

“hmm.. chaliye!” and Karthik follows Aman to the roof…………. Hell even if to the end of the world! (hmm.. lead the way)

The blue calla lilies lay aside while the couple sit on the wide parapet of the abandoned house. They are cuddled into each other, Karthik sucking out kisses on his lover’s lips and neck, tasting the moans and gasps Aman gives out. Aman looks through his heavy lashes and shy cheeks when the break apart.

_“itna khubsurat laagte kaise ho_?”, Karthik asks as he takes in all the beauty under the growing dark sky. He gives another longing kiss on Aman’s swollen lips that fits perfect, moist and hot. (how can you be this beautiful?)

Aman loves these moments when Karthik praises him. Actually he loves everything about it. Mostly the secrecy part of it. And Karthik knows it. The thrill and the anticipation when everyone will get to know about.

They know it’s gonna be harsh, maybe covered in bloodbath, but they will always take the other over anything else.

Karthik brings out a lily out of the bouquet and tucks it behind Aman’s ear, and giggles, _“aapke Baba ko jab pata chelga na, unka ek hi beta unki hi rival party ke mantri se mohabbat karta hain toh heart attack na ho jaye unhe”_ (I wonder if your father will have a heart attack when he know his only son is in love with his rival party member)

Aman places another peck on his lips, _“kya lagta hain aapko kya hoga tab? Humara kya hoga?”_ (what do you think what’s gonna happen then? To us?”)

“ _aur kya hoga_?”, Karthik speaks out dramatically boring deep into his eyes and puffing his chest, “ _shaadi kar lenge aapke saath!_ ” (what will happen more? I will marry you)

Aman raises his eyebrows, mischief playing through his eyes, “ _Iss bar Election me toh humare baba se unke seat le liya aapne. Ab unke bete ka haat le saakte hain unse_?” (this time you have took my father’s seat in the elections. But can you take his son’s hand from him?)

“ _Aapke mohabbat ke liye toh hum maut bhi leh saakte hain_!” (I can even take death for your love)

Aman wants to dissolve into laugh at the cheesy words his lover just said. But there is an evident resolve underlying the words and that integrity in his voice. A look in Karthik’s eyes that says ‘it’s no joke’.

So rather than bringing laughter Aman eyes glazes and to hide the streaks of evident tears he lays his head against karthik’s chest. “ _pata hain? Aaj Chhoti Shakespeare paad rahi thi!_ ” (you know, Chotti was reading Shakespeare today)

Karthik laughs, “really.. kaunsa play?”. He runs his fingers though his soft hair. (really? Which one)

“As You Like It. Bol rahi thi iss semester me hain” (she was telling it will be in this semester)

“wohi?”, Karthik asks, surprised. (that one?)

“ha wahi!” (yes, that very one)

Certain memories come flooding to their mind on their 3rd anniversary, as they both fall into a blissful serenity when Karthik eloquently recites, **“I pray you do not fall in love with thee; for I am falser than vows made in wine**. **”**

For Karthik and Aman never thought they will fall in love under the most false pretence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all the side character's intro will unfold in the course.  
> any good?


	3. Shall I Compare Thee to a Summer’s Day?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Shall I Compare Thee to a Summer’s Day?”  
> -Shakespeare Sonnet 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uses of language and scenes can be triggering.
> 
> Chapter based on the incidents set in the past time of the actual story plot

5 years ago (flashbacks)…. 

Karthik has long lost contact with his family. His family only meaning his father. Here he hates this thought of losing the only two people he actually had cared for. And it was all for his father who is still surviving, by being drowned in alcohol every day.

And Karthik had come to blame it on himself for a number of years. Upon asking he would say he had reasons.

His mother had passed away when he had only reached 13.

From an outsider’s eye, Karthik was only guilty of cross-questioning his father on why he came home so late stench with alcohol and not bringing medicines for his mother taken down with heavy fever. Only if it was considered of ‘being guilty’ for a curious, novice young boy! But it was enough reason for his blacksmith father to attack his own son with powered slaps and punches. Karthik can still hear his father repeatedly punching and asking him, “ _haramkhor!_ _baap ko puchta hain ki wo kaha tha?_ ”, in his hoarse slurry voice. Only when his ill mother rushed towards them and tried to separate them, his father chocked her and thrashed her against the wall. Thrice! (bastard! Asking your father where he was? This much dare?)

His mother had died the next dawn in the old bed of the public hospital. Karthik was tightly holding his hand on to his mother, her last words being, “ _ekdin tum bohut bade aadmi banoge, Karthik. Aanokhe ho tum_.” (one day you will be a successful man, Karthik. You’re rare.)

And he may had a dear baby sister with him now, if she was not murdered after being brutally gangraped, when Karthik was 17 and her sister, Kritika being only a tender age of 15.

Karthik had made a deadly mistake by getting caught by his father, when he and Samar, his first love were kissing each other in the dark alleyways of their small poor community. Karthik was dragged to the front of their small home, thoroughly bruised by his father’s antics. And as if it was not enough. The father had called upon the local goons, “ _mera beta meetha nahi ho saakta_!”, and the gang had chased Karthik down the road out of the house, his sister screaming after them to leave her brother. (my son can never be a faggot!)

When no one listened to her, she had thrown a heavy stone at the last man in the trail. Which caught their attention, and Kritika stood in front of the hungry, desperate gang, her last words echoing in the alleys, “ _yaha se bhaag, bhai! Naya zindagi chun, mujhe samhal ne de—_ ” . (run away, brother! Get a life, I’ll handle it here.)

A not so brave Karthik had run, to leave this horrific world not thinking of the consequences. And days later he had got the news of a 15 years old girl found murdered after being raped, in the road side.

Only the last image of a girl with braided brown hair on both sides, clad in light blue salwar came to Karthik’s mind. And a few drops of tear down the cheek.

These drops of tears still fall, remembering how Kritika was the only person he had ever confided to about his sexuality at a ripe early teenage. She had accepted him with open arms, made himself feel he is worth it, had teased him by showing handsome boys in the market while the siblings ate kulfi hand in hand.

Months later had come in contact with Nishikant Srivastav. Karthik didn’t know who he was back then. He had just attracted his attention by giving a very simple unbiased monologue of the present day politics, in the street tea and snack stall. Of course the customers had laughed at the poor boy’s speech. But when Karthik had gone to the back of the store to wash the used plates and spoons, Srivastav had approached him.

“ _beta, naam kya hain tumhara_?” (what’s your name, son?)

Karthik had first scowled at the tall, sharp facial structured, white kurta cladded man. “Karthik. Karthik Singh.”

The man politely smiled. “ _aur padhai kitni dur?”_ (and your schooling?)

His face became glum. “ _pichle saal he school choda_.” That was the last thing he wanted. He had dreamt of completing his studies he had planned to get even the minimal job and run away with her sister from the cursed place. “ _chawl ki school mein padhta tha._ ” (left it last year. I studied at the local school)

“ _thik hain beta, ab meri baat suno_!”, Srivastav placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. (ok! Now listen to me)

And Karthik did listen.

And slowly he also came to believe how rare he is as his mother said and how he needs to live a new life for the sake of his beautiful sister. “ _aapne ma aur behen ki tyaag yunhi jane doge? Kuch aisa karo ki unhe tumpar gaarv ho. Padhai karni hain, aage jaake politics karoge ya nahi, tumhari marzi_.” (so you’ll let you mother’s and sister’s sacrifice go to waste? Make them proud of you. You need to be educated, and then you decide if you’ll join politics.)

Karthik came to believe Nishikant Srivastav is a great man. His idol. He had adopted him from his lowest state, opened his arms like his family, listened to whatever he said, fed him, clothed him, educated him in the best of institutes, shaped him into a new man.

And finally opened the doors of All India Democratic Party. _“Rajneeti galat nahi hain. Iss se ek puri duniya chalti hain. Future leaders baante hain rajneeti se. Tum mein wo hunar hai Karthik, leader ban ne ka”_ , Srivastav looked straight into his eyes and said it. Karthik took these words straight to his heart. And so a young Karthik starts dedicating his life in this. He believes he can be a good leader. (politics is not dirty. The whole world runs due it. It gives birth to future leaders. And you have that potential, Karthik, to be a leader)

“ _Tum he pata hain Karthik, Indian politics itni khai mein kyun hain_?” Srivastav asked sitting at his desk, his hands clasped together in front his mouth. Karthik stood before him, without answering. (you know Karthik, why Indian politics is in a bottomless ditch?)

Srivastav shrugged, “ _zyada tar politician unpad gawar hain. Class 8 pass yah phir kheecho toh class 12. Maximum limit, graduate_. _Haan aab yeh nahi bol rahe ki padhai karne sahi aache insaan banoge. Par education ka ek value toh hain na?_ ” (maximum of the politicians are illiterate, ignorant. Either they studied upto class 8 or extended to class 12. Maximum limit is graduate. Well I’m not telling that you’ll become human just by education. But it has a value.)

“ _han to Bapuji, hum kaha bol rahe ki padhai chod denge?”, Karthik frowns, “hum toh bol rehe ki uss din aap ke saath rally mein jayenge_!” (Am I telling I’ll forgo schooling. I’m just telling I’ll go with you for the rally that day.)

“ _exam na deke_?” his bapuji asked in return. (by skipping your exam?)

Karthik kept silent.

Srivastav smiled at the boy. _“politics baad me bhi kar saakhte ho, bete. But education ka ek waqt, ek umar hain. Aur tumhari yehi umar hain._ ” He stood up from his chair to be infront of Karthik. He fixed Karthik with his glance, “ _kutniti karo toh aachi kutniti karo. Debate mein jao to gyani ban kar jao. Vashaan do to paad-likhkar do, un murkh neta o ki tara khali maat cheekho_!” (you can be a politician later, son. But education has a time, a age. And you have the age now. Engage in a decent diplomacy, in a moral debate, give a cultivated speech, if you have to. But don’t shout like the foolish leaders, all vacant.)

“ _paar bapuji---_ ” (but bapuji---)

“ _kuch nahi Karthik, NET exam hain. Saabka selection nahi hota! You’re a scholar child, aapne education Janata ki vaalai me lagao_.” (nothing, Karthik. You’re to give NET exam. Very few get selected. You’re a scholar child, serve your education for the fair well of the Janata.)

Karthik understood what his bapuji told him.

Education is a basis of life, to apply it for the welfare of society. To become wise and humane. Only then the public will hear him. Diplomacy is needed. Just a cultured diplomacy instead of a corrupted one.

Devika, Karthik’s best friend, since he again started going to school, then college, also accompanied him for the NET exam which had its seats declared in Delhi University. They had similar goals, rather they planned it to be similar of doing MBA after English M. A., NET was a choice kept in hand.

“ _Uncle ne bhej hi diya na tujhko!_ ” (so Uncle send you at last!)

“ _bol maat yaar. Itni badi speech de diya unhone….. anhai paada!_ ”, Karthik huffed. (enough, yaar! He hgave such a speech, I had to come after that!)

“ _sahi to bole. Aaur koi aisa-wasa leader thodi na hain wo. Khud hi IIT Kharagpur ke student hain----”_ (he told it right. He, himself is a classy man, graduating from IIT Kharagpur--)

“ _Mechanical Engineering ke.. pata hain_.” (with mechanical engineering, I know)

“ _iss liye hi toh! Ab chal_ ”, saying this, Devika dragged Karthik to their assigned class. (that’s the reason. Now let’s go) 

Delhi University, one of the finest University in India with archaic British architecture, and a really large campus, Karthik was in awe due to the very view. The classrooms with intricate designs and students rushing to various classes. Though Karthik and Devika were students in top college of Mussoorie, going to a new University is always extravagant.

With their IDs and application form, the two friends entered a class they are assigned to. Fortunately they are in same class, but Karthik got a second bench, and Devika towards the last. They wished each other luck, and with that Karthik was trying to get comfortable in his seat, as he wondered who will be sitting next to him.

Few moments later after seeing candidates coming in and filling up seats, Karthik’s line of vision shifted to the entrance.

“ _Ravi bhaiya, aap bahar jaake bethiye, yaha kuch nahi hoga……… paar kuch nahi, hum kehe rahe hain na?_ ” and the voice revealed a face, turning at the door and asking the invigilator for entry. (Ravi Bhaiya. You can go and wait outside. Nothing shall happen here……… no, I am saying nothing will happen.)

At that point of time, Karthik knew he was gone. For the person who entered, with the necessities in his hands, was an absolute angel he had ever seen. He sat their breathless, stunned, and too surprised at his own fate. And as if God was not punishing him enough, this person came and sat beside him checking his seat number. And he abruptly looked straight into Karthik’s brown eyes. A look of amazement had crossed through both of their faces, as blush dusted both of their cheeks. The new boy smiled a little ad Karthik could only nod at that.

They had obviously stole each other glances, with shy smiles afterwards during the exam. Though they really concentrated during solving the paper, but who can control a beating heart during the moments of lag in focus. Maybe if not because of the exam, they might had even started talking. Karthik even asked for the boy’s pencil in time when the guard was in someplace else. God! Karthik felt like a teenager again, having his crush sit beside him. 

Karthik’s paper was almost to an end, as was the time, when he got caught in one of the questions he could not solve. He tried to look back for Devika but with the guard it was impossible.

‘“I pray you do not fall in love with thee; for I am falser than vows made in wine;” state adaptation with character reference.’

He continued circling around the question, when looked up to his side to see the boy, his crush, is looking intently at his question paper. He looked back, his eyes asking for the paper. Karthik nodded again.

The boy stealthily looked back to see the invigilator walking at the end of the class and he fast swiped the question with his own. Karthik just sat there dumfounded, what is he doing?

After going through it twice and thinking for a few minutes (the guard already walked by them twice), he wrote something on the paper, and as before, slowly slipped his paper back in place, while following his eyes to the back with the guard.

He smiled at Karthik, a blush blooming, Karthik looked to see “Act 3 scene 5, Rosalind to Phoebe” written.

The boy looked shy as he turned away his face to the rest of his question. Karthik just smiled and wrote his last answer. He quickly submitted it, looked at Devika and left the room. Few minutes later, Devika too followed him.

Aman for a few seconds was struck. Without saying a word, after getting the answer, his handsome bench mate just left. He felt a lot disheartened. Maybe it was truly an illusion! He had so hoped to get to know this guy, perhaps he was not gay. Aman read all the signs wrong. Or maybe he had identified who Aman was, which was very rare… and the guy felt overwhelmed.

And thus pushing back all his thoughts he concentrated back to his last few Physics problem.

The final bell rang, Aman was finding to handle the question paper, his pens and pencils, water bottle in one hand and to open the door with the other. Just on opening the door, his items threatened to fall, when he heard someone saying, “ _hume maadat karne dijiye_!” (let me help!)

Aman looked up to see the same handsome bench-mate taking his items from his arms. The guy looked at him, his eyes honey glazed, and the charming and contagious smile on his lips. Aman felt shy, “thank you”

And he was sure the guy too felt shy, as he bit his lips. After straightening up, and other moment of gazing at each other, the stranger finally spoke, “mein, Karthik Singh.”

“Aman Tripathi.” Aman let out after a while.

And both knew there was something stored for them in the future.

Devika had come along to introduce herself, with a teasing smile on her face. And she was absolutely stunned upon seeing Aman’s body guard, Ravi, in black suit and pant and a leather holster by the side. And being the Devika she was, she too instantly clicked with him.

“ _bohut khub laagte ho to aap_!” (you look awesome!)

Ravi had smirked, “aap bhi kam nahi, Devika ji!” (speak for yourself, Devika ji)

The four had roamed around after getting out of the campus, and by the end of the day Karthik and Aman were inseparable. Because they had less to zero knowledge about their family backgrounds, (I mean who talks about their family in their first meeting), both understood they are quite stranger to each other, both not knowing about their political backgrounds. And they kept it that way.

It was a false pretense.

But the touching of the hands, the longing gazes, complementing each other, sharing food and all the sweet shy gestures were more real than the universe itself.

Aman knew he would love to fall in love with Karthik. While Karthik knew he’s already in love with Aman.

But only if it had lasted.

It took just one letter, and it had stopped there.

Aman was staying in his rented house in New Delhi, to be near his university. He had given Karthik that address, when he had bid each other good bye that day. After 4 days he even received a letter, and one telephone call. They were filled with sweet words that all Karthik could gather from his heart. And Aman could sense a longing in the words and the voice and a promise of a lifelong love.

But when Aman send him a letter, the answer never came, the calls went amiss. He had sent five letter in total after that.

The answer never came.

The only letter became his lifeline as he held on to it with his life. Ravi was by his side and he desperately wished if he had gathered any contact details from Devika. How foolish of him! see Ravi is not just his guard, but his friend, best friend at that.

And of course there was Rajini, his cousin, who supported him through and through. The together tried to find out ways. But Aman by now didn’t even know who Karthik was.

Perhaps it was really an illusion. Karthik Singh had appeared like a comet in his life, and disappeared just as quickly.

For 2 years………

“ _tu khush hain na_?” Aman asked as he for the first time saw his sister in her bride’s costume. With her out bursting fair creamy skin, and her glazy cheeks, wavy brown hair, she looked beautiful. (you’re happy, right?)

Rajini smiled, “ _bohut Aman! Chahati thi toh Deepak se shaadi hui meri. Ho bhi rahi hain. Papa, tau ji dono ka hi aashirvaad hain, aur kya chahiye?_ ” (immensely, Aman! I always wanted to marry Deepak. And now with all the papa and tauji’s blessing I am going to marry him)

“ _aur mein_?” (and me?)

 _“tu toh humesha se hi tha!”_ she ran to hug her brother, “ _yeh shaadi bohut mangal hogi. Mere liye bhi, aur tere liye bhi_!” (you’re always there. This wedding will be auspicious. For both you and me)

Aman knotted his brows, “ _kaise?”_ (how?)

 _“pata nahi, bhai, paar aisa lag raha hain_.” (I don’t know, brother, just having a feeling)

Rajini was a front seat audience to watch Aman break down and get built up with just one letter in hand. Even after two years, he was still not over Karthik. Karthik Singh was the epitome of his love, _“dekhna, tere zindagi mein aisa koi aayega ki tum he khud se bhi, baki saabhi se bhi bohut zyada pyaar dega”_ (just see, someone will come to your life you shall love above everyone else)

Aman laughed out, “ _meri chord. Ab chal, meri behen ki shaadi hain aaj!”_ (stop talking about me. Let’s go. Tonight is my baby sister’s wedding) 

Aman and Ravi were standing in their courtyard of their big mansion, talking. Their other cousins were with them too. The mandap was decorated beautifully under a starry night. Mini lights hanged with colourful cloths, Rajini was having her dream wedding. Aman looked brilliant in his navy blue sherwani with gold intricate designs and a golden silk dupatta encircled around his arms. Men and women equally could not miss his glance.

“ _Aman babaji, aapke pitaji aapko bula rahe hain!_ ”, Diwanji calls out to him. Aman perked his ears, “ _Baba? Abhi jaate hain_!”. (Aman babaji, your father is calling you) / (baba? Yes, coming)

It was when Keshav, his brother, said out, “ _tau ji toh pata nahi kya karna chate hain_?” (only tau ji know what he’s trying to do)

When everyone asked in unison, why, he answered. “ _arrey! Unhone toh aaj AIDP members ko bhi invite ki ya hain_!” (he invited AIDP members, you know?)

“ _sahi baat hain. Mene do din pehele suna tha 5 invitation AIDP office me jayenge._ ” Ravi nodded at his thought. (yeah, right. He did send 5 invite cards to AIDP office)

“ _par kyun_?”Aman asked. (but why?)

Keshav shrugged, “ _pata nahi, iss liye hi shayad tujhe bula rahe hai.. dekh jaake_!” (don’t know.. I guess he’s calling you for that reason)

“ _mein bhi chalta hun tumhare saath_ ”. And Ravi dragged Aman to where his father was. (I’ll also go with you)

Indeed Shankar Tripathi was standing with a number of men. When Aman reached them, Ravi stopping at a small distance, Shankar immediately spoke, “ _aao beta! Milho in logo se. Yeh hain AIDP leader Mr. Nishikant Srivastav_ ” he gestured to the politicians in front of him. “ _Srivastav ji, yeh hain mera beta, Aman_.” Aman did a namaste with a shy smile to the tall upright ma in front of him. 

“ _jeete raho beta. Bohut aache dikh rehe hain aap!_ ” Aman gives a shy nod at that. The man continues, “ _waise aap shayad Karthik ke umar ke hoge, hain na Trapathi ji_?” Aman suddenly frowned at the name said. (well you look like Karthik’s age, isn’t it, Tripathi ji?)

“ha..ha..”, Shankar said, “ _Aman, aur yeh hain Karthik, Srivastav ji ke protégé bol saakte ho……..”_ and just then Aman froze in his spot, totally chiiled as another man, around his age, clad in maroon sherwani, comes forward taking his breathe away. (yes.. yes.. Aman, this is Karthik, Srivastav ji’s protégé)

There stood Karthik Singh in flesh and blood, and all memories came back rushing to Aman’s brain that leave shim momentarily speechless.

In the distance he heard Srivastav ji saying, “he returned just a few days ago from London, completing his MBA.”

“London?”, Aman squeaked and then perceived the environment before looking directly at Karthik, who was already looking at him still with those honey glazed eyes like before. Tears welled up in Aman’s eyes.

“ _mera beta bhi Delhi IIT mein PHD kar raha hain…. Politics mein koi shauk nahi hain isko………”_ (my son is doing PHD in Delhi IIT and has no affinity to politics…..)

He stood there in the uncomfortable zone for another few minutes before they dispersed to enjoy the evening, and he pulled his father aside, “ _baba, rival party members ko kiyo bulaye aap?”_ (why call rival party’s here?)

Shankar laughed, “ _tum nahi samjhoge. Politics me toh tum involve nahi ho…_ ” (you won’t understand as you aren’t involved)

Aman stays quite. 

“ _beta, iss shaadi mein media bhi hain. Aur dusri party ka invitation sirf media planning hain. Camera mein dikh raha hain, kitni mil hain humare beech. Kuch jhute rishte bhi banana padta hain_!” (son, this is all for media coverage, just to show how good relation we have above the surface. Some false relation are also to be made)

Aman was left speechless by his father. The wedding was about to begin so he also advanced towards the mandap. But he craned his neck for the very sought after man now. He tried to find him when someone tapped his shoulder. Jerking around he almost lost his balance and Aman fell straight into the person’s chest, _“hume dhund rehe the_?” (searching for me?)

Aman can recognize the voice anywhere and the simple effect made him choke on his emotions.

He stood up, but looking down, “ _sirf ek khat_!”, he went straight to the point. And he dared to look up. (just one letter!)

Karthik’s loving puppy eyes with a somber face looked back at him, “ _aapne toh sunhai na, hum London geye the! Dusri khat likh nahi paye. Aur aapke bhi nahi mila…_ ” (you heard I went to London! I never got the chance to write another letter----)

“ _yeh koi baat—”_ (is this even an excuse---)

“ _hume bolne dijiye Aman. 2 saal baad kya chupana_ ,” Karthik pursed his lips, and took a deep breathe. They were standing partly behind one of the stalls, “ _hum aapko bohot pasand karte hain, in 2 saalo ehsaas hua yeh ki humare liye sirf aaphi baane hai._.” (let me say, Aman. And what to hide after years.. I like you a lot. And in these years I realised, you are only made for me)

Aman took a sharp breathe in. Karthik pulled his right hand where he was wearing the rose-tuberose corsage at the wrist. Karthik pulled out a tuberose, took it to his lips and kissed it. and tucked it behind Aman’s ear.

Aman eyes widened and blushed madly at the gesture. Two years later, this man was actually proposing to him, so blatantly. His emotional surge broke all barrage.

“ _aur aaj apko dekhne ke baad mujhse aur raha-----”_ (and I couldn’t stop myself after seeing you--)

Aman did not let him continue, he hugged him as tight as he can.

“ _aapke opponent leader ka beta hu main, kya hoga pata hain? humare baba aapko maar hi daal sakhte hain_!” (I am your opponent’s son. Do you know what shall happen? My father can kill you)

Karthik chuckled, _“wo baad me socha jayega._ ”, he caressed his cheeks with his thumb and traced line along his lips. (that we can think later.)

“ _paar aapke jaise kisiko kaise chord sakta hun. Absolute amazing_!” Karthik had fallen in love with the summer like aura Aman exuded, long ago… (but how can I leave you?)

It was as exhilarating and the emotions were as beautiful as Shakespeare had found beauty in his muse like a summer’s day!

They remain hugging each other as wedding mantras and shehnai tunes floats in the distance, the two young couple totally oblivious as to what will happen in the future.

But they had trust in their new found love!

And now three years later, they will be making love in the terrace under the starry night, with calla lilies scattered around.

And only days later after everything will change... for better...

Or for worse!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> after I drafted down the whole story, I found out that that I mentioned nothing about karthik's family or his backstory. So I found it suitable to add it here.  
> hope you liked this chapter!  
> leave down kudos and comment your opinion, because it matters. 
> 
> and pls stay inside the house and stay safe!


	4. Speak Low if You Speak Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Speak Low if You Speak Love"  
> \- Much Ado About Nothing; Act 2 Scene 1

Flashback…….

Karthik gave a kitten lick to the shell of Aman’s ear as he tightly held the smaller boy in his chest from behind. Aman immediately ducked his head away from Karthik and ferociously frown at his lover, “Karthik!” his voice held authority, “ _aapke pas koi kaam nahi hain?_ ”. (don’t you have any work?)

Though Aman could have looked quite intimidating to few, he looked like an absolute cute baby tiger, who has just learned to roar, in Karthik’s eyes. Despite having the thought, the newbie politician suppressed a snicker. Otherwise “ _aaj raat ko khana nahi milega!_ ”, as Aman would say. (you won’t get dinner tonight!)

Mr. Srivastav had gone out of city to have a meeting with the _Rajya Sachib_ s of AIDP, and would return after two weeks. So Karthik was free now meeting Aman in his home. And it is going for a few days. Aman would come during afternoons, Karthik ‘sneaked’ him in, and Vikrant would be there too. So the minimal security around the house turned absolute blind eye to the matter. He would stay the whole day, leaving after dinner, or stayed back the night as he had done quite a few times, and make dinner for him , Karthik and Vikrant and also Ravi. And yeah somedays, Devika would join too.

So everything was going so well. Karthik loved watching Aman doing his PhD assignments on his bed, while he laid with a smug smile and honey eyes on his face. And he quickly swooped Aman from behind, lifting him on his lap and Aman squeaked but let out a small smile afterwards. He continued study comfortably on his lover’s lap until Karthik started nuzzling on his creamy nape and ears.

And by god, if he started it now, then fuck assignments, Aman would even forget to make dinner.

So the very best he could do was to give a baby-scowl at him.

Later that night, only Vikrant and Ravi were sitting by the guest room, as Devika couldn’t join them tonight. She had gone to her village home, and Ravi was somewhat not pleased with it.

Aman was making dinner, just rice and dal, with a paneer item. Karthik just reveled the thought that the son of the Chief Minister himself, cooks food for him, in that little apron and short pants and wearing Karthik’s oversized cotton shirts. Just this idea was enough for Shankar Tripathi to loose in the next elections.

But it does not mean, every day was as smooth as this. Specially during office days. Karthik had to juggle between works. He was a responsible man, he could not just leave his work at the party office. He had to learn the various tactics and the behavior to be put in politics, during party meetings, get accustomed with the brutal realities of being in politics. He learnt, that though everyone knew, what ministers sometimes did was inhumane, against the popular opinion of the public, but it is what they have to do, as they are also human……….

But “to a limit”, Nishikant told him after every meetings like these.

And in opposite to these, when the hurry hours finished, Karthik would lean against Aman chest, taking deep breathes, and Aman, the ever sweet Aman, untainted by the brutal world of assassination, corrupted political world, carded his soft fingers through his raven hair and bring this sense of utter peace.

Home……..

Aman would wait for him patiently, wherever they had agreed to meet, would sent Ravi somehow to inform him if he couldn’t come due to his classes and sent some homemade food, listened to Karthik ranting about how the world go wrong and him changing it. he would smile and say, “ _hmm.. aap kar saakte hain, hume varosha hain!_ ” (hmm… you can do it. I trust you)

Oh! What had Karthik done in his life to have such a person as his beloved. He wanted nothing else than to take Aman’s hand in his, and scream to the entire world and claim this is his, and only his.

Alas! That’s the only thing he cannot do.

Because..

Hell shall break loose on them. There can be a riot, with innumerable murders. The first one will be he, himself brutally killed by Shankar Tripathi!

But of course, some people knew. Like the first one to know was Ravi, Aman alone had told himself to him. And the next time when they he met Karthik, he gave no qualms at pointing his revolver at Karthik’s head, “ _agar Aman ko phirse dukh diya na, toh phir saari goli, teri andar jayigi!_ ”. Aman had only held Ravi’s arms back, whereas Karthik visibly gulped. And over the time, Karthik knew Ravi is the greatest confidant of their relationship. (if you make Aman sad again, I’ll fire all the bullets in your brain)

And hell yes Devika knew. Of course she would. “ _thank god, setting ho gayi. Warna mujhei kuch karna padta_.” She had said the moment Karthik had stood in front of her with Aman. “ _aur tera toh Ravi ke saath_.” Karthik backfired. (thank god, you guys are set. Or I had to take matters in hand.)

But Devika did not blush, nor shied away, “ _tera ho saakta hain, mera nahi_?” and the friends had laughed and commended on her so proud of love attitude. I mean, we all should be, isn’t it? Be proud of your love. (so you can fall in love, and I cannot?)

But Vikrant was a different case. Because he was not even in their list. And it was not like, they had told him. He found it out himself. In middle of a bazaar.

Old Delhi is known for small bazaars at a distance of the various monuments and mausoleums. What Aman and Karthik had to their advantage is that they were not very a known face among the very common public. Shankar had guarded his son very well, keeping away the political image from him, and Karthik had not become so intermingled with politics and public till then. So they could still go out for their little ‘dates’ with their scarce bodyguards not very far away who knew better to keep their mouth shut.

Aman was in a clay-pottery makeshift shop finding small vases for his home, while Karthik held on to his waist and occasionally leaned his chin on the other’s shoulder. The young wife of the shopkeeper snickered as Karthik quietly nuzzled at Aman’s shoulder blades.

“ _bohot acchi jodi hain aapki!_ ”, she says blatantly covering her mouth with her sari’s pallu. (you two are beautiful together)

“ _ei, chup karo_!”, though her husband rebukes her, there is also a underlying smirk in his lips too, which does not go unnoticed by the couple. (hey! Keep quite)

Karthik, ever the desperate, smirks too, “ _arey, chup kiyu karegi, sahi toh boli usne”, Karthik gazed at Aman, “inke liye toh sach hi humari Jodi aachi hain_.” And he quickly places a kiss at Aman’s nape. (why shall she keep quiet, she’s saying the truth. For him only, we truly look beautiful)

Totally dumfounded and suddenly feeling so shy over, Aman tries to divert the situation, “ _bhai sahab, yeh dono vase dijiye……”_ the rest three laughed out as Karthik hugged him tighter. (give me these two vases please..)

“S—Sir!”, Karthik heard someone saying from behind. While Aman took back his purchased vases, Karthik turned around to see Vikrant, his fellow office worker, the secretary standing there, his hands carrying bags, with hawk eyes, eyeing him and…….. Aman.

The world had came crashing down on him.

“ _please, kisi ko kuch nahi kehna!”_ Karthik pleaded to Vikrant for the umpteenth time that afternoon. Aman, the sensible one, mostly, suggested Vikrant to come to lunch with them. While the security stood at the distance, the couple came out to the AIDP secretary, over roti and chicken curry. And quite relieving them, Vikrant too took it well. Initially he was like, “ _Karthik sir!!! CM ke bet eke saath……_.”, then it came to, “opposition party…”, Karthik had stopped him there, “ _humare bich kuch politics nahi hain Vikrant_..” (nothing between me and Aman is about politics, Vikrant)

In the end like everyone else, Vikrant too had cooed at them, an wished them well. And for the umpteenth time too made Karthik realise, Vikrant was too going to make one of the best allies. After all he is the one to find excuses for Karthik, to leave work early when necessary.

Only in the exchange of Aman’s homemade food.

And Karthik was more than happy to share his with his dear friend.

And it’s good to have some people around you whom you trust and confide in to.

“ _aaj kal kiske saath itni mulakat ho rahi hai_?” (who are you going out with these days?)

The bit of chapati from Karthik’s hand fell when Nishikant asked him at the dinner table. You know the exact moment when the temperature dropped below the freezing point, when your spine get affected by it, your blood circulation freezes and thus stops, you become a statue in the ice, and your brain shuts down but your heart pumps vigorously to speed up blood flow but to no avail. The exact thing happened to Karthik too at that moment.

“ _ka—kaun? Kiske saath_?”, he chokes on his dry throat. Because he knew if his instincts are right, this breakfast might be the last of his life. He dared to look up at his bapuji, the person who has loved as his own son. (who? With whom?)

Nishikant appeared calm, just as calm as before storm. But he had his eagle eyes set on Karthik, while he chewed as slowly as possible. “ _hume kya pata kaun hain wo? Ye to tum hume kahoge. Kiske saath ghum rahe ho_?” (how would I know? You’ll say that. Who are you going out with?)

Karthik gulped, shoved, his food down in his throat, “ _koi nahi bapuji, kiske saath ghumenge hum?_ ” he laughed VERY nervously. (no one bapuji, absolutely no one.)

Obviously Nishikant did not buy the answer. He just quietly stood up from his chair, and with last words, “ _jo koi bhi ho, khud ka dhyan rakhna, aur party ka bhi!_ ”. And with that he left. (whoever it is, stay safe, and keep the party safe)

“ _tere bapuji ko Vikrant ka koi zarurat nahi hai jaan ne ko, ki Aman tera aashiq hain! Chil ki aankhe hain unki.”,_ Devika said as that day Karthik, Aman and their friends came together. And there he had quite openly charged Vikrant for breaking his trust. But Vikrant could never bring himself to do it, and that Karthik knew too. So what Devika said seemed fitting. (your bapuji don’t need Vikrant to know about your love for Aman. His eyes are like eagles)

“ _I guess, unko aabhi tak sab kuch pata nahi hain_.” Aman said. (I guess, he still doesn’t know everything)

“ _unko saab pata hain Aman, yeh galat faimi me na rahe aap_ ”, Karthik answered. (no Aman, he knows everything. Don’t doubt him)

“ _unko nahi paata ki aap humare saath hain. Koi toh hain, wo jaante hain, paar kaun hain, yeh nahi jaante. Agar jaante toh wohi bol dete, aapke bapuji_!”, Aman reasoned. (maybe he knows you’re with someone, but not necessarily me. If he did, he would have told it then and there)

Karthik reflected at his lover’s words. If his bapuji knew about them, that breakfast would really be his last meal. And then suddenly something stroke his brain, he visibly became glum.

Aman saw it and frowned. He went to wrap his arms around the politician’s torso, “ _kya hua_?” (what happened?)

Karthik in instinct leaned his cheeks against Aman’s temple. “ _pehli bar aisa hua, ki bapuji ke paas maine kuch chupaya. Har baat jante hai who. Paar mere zindagi ki sabse badi saach, ab jhut ban geya unke saamne!”_ (it’s the first time I’m hiding something from him. he knows every word about me. But I’m lying to him the greatest truth of my life)

Aman cradled his neck, “ _waqt aane par boliye unko… hum bhi toh ghar mein nahi bol saakte na. har roz baba ko dekhte hain, aur yehi soch tai hain……_..” (tell him when the time comes. Even I can’t say it at home. Every day I see baba, and always think…)

And Karthik knew how close Aman is to his baba.

It’s tough for Aman as well. To go around freely by being the CM’s son is not easy. But he is not that a public figure. He hides his identity very well in the very common ground public. So going out at night with Karthik and Ravi by his side is not that tough. But what actually tough is making excuses every time, to his mother or the other elders, or his nosy siblings.

Aman Tripathi, who always had been the good boy, actually sneaked out a number of times. “ _sab aapke liye,_ Karthik, so better treat me well!” (all these for you, so better treat me well Karthik)

And by god, he even has bunked PhD classes to meet Karthik, because that the only time available for the politician.

“ _jo school mein rahete kabhi nahi kiye, who ab kar rahe ho_.”, Ravi had said him once. (what had to be done in school life, you are doing it now!)

Aman had laughed, “ _tab pyaar mein kaha the_!” (I wasn’t in love, then!)

And the couple would go for rides, Karthik had bought brand new. Karthik would use a cap and a sunglass, and Aman would use a handkerchief as his mask and his glasses. They still loved the rides even in between traffic jams of Delhi and crowds, thing they avoided when they were out while not hiding. And so in between traffics when Karthik tried to overtake another bike rider, the man screamed, “ _kya kar raha hain? Dikhta nahi hain kya? Khudko Chief Minister ka aaulad samajhta hain_?” (what the hell are you doing? Can’t you see? Do you think yourself as the CM’s son?)

Aman, ironically, was about to give an answer to this rash person, when Karthik stopped him for better. He gave a polite nod and an apology to the other driver, and even let him slide at the traffic. And after the green light they drove off to the place where Aman’s favourite golgappa stall was present.

So if Aman’ family even doubted where their son is going, they kept it within himself. Part of them trusted their son is not involved in illegal activities, and would only go out for study purposes.

Only if they know!

……………….wait! do they know?

A year and a few months had passed since Rajini’s wedding. And both Karthik and Aman knew, its only the other they are going to spend the rest of the life with. And they also knew the bumps they are going face. Their relationship going public means, media outburst and oppositions. It’s tough to be modern day Romeo and Juliet. If their family even get to know about it….. uff! Karthik don’t even want to think about it, still.

But fate, you know, is a bitch!

The breakfast table talk with Nishikant was long forgotten by Karthik. But the other man, who was up against the next Vidhan Sabha/State Assembly elections, how sharp were his wits?

In the evening, when Karthik was reading his MBA books peacefully, Nishikant came sat beside him in the sofa. He took up the newspaper, unfolded it, and came face to face at the large photo of Shankar Tripathi wearing a large garland around his neck. The newspaper said the CM of Delhi, recently finished a successful rally in Uttar Pradesh. Pool of thoughts brewed in his stomach.

It was sharp 7o’clock and the evening was quite peaceful, still…..

He looked from the newspaper and called his god-son, “Karthik!”

“hmm?”, Karthik lazily lifted his head to gaze at his bapuji who was looking at him with an unknown intensity.

“ _Aman kaise hai_?” (how is Aman?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thoughts? comment down below, and if you to see some stuff in the fic , also write that down.  
> If you liked it then hit the kudos😁


	5. Men at Times are the Masters of Their Own Fate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "men at times are the masters of their own fate"  
> \- Julius Caesar; Act 1 Scene 2

Have you ever felt your heart pumping out all the blood, chest getting devoid of air, lungs squeezing in, throat drying out and at the same time someone is pouring ice cold water down your spine?

Karthik was feeling exactly the same. Because, Nishikant asking about a certain Aman was the last thing he ever expected to happen in his LIFE. As after that he will not be alive.

And then he was attacked by thousand of thoughts.

And the first thing that made him haemoglobin down to zero, is that Nishikant, the ever cool and calm man with a brain as sharp as a knife and the wit of a scholar, perhaps the next CM of Delhi, was actually going to commit a murder, and that too his godson’s.

_Yeah, he is capable of that._

Karthik zeroed his eyes on his godfather’s face. THAT EXPRESSION! Karthik’s so scared of it.

Because Nishikant displayed no emotion. His eyes blank, lips straightened into thin line, no clench of jaw. This was bad, because Karthik couldn’t predict the next reaction now.

Today’s going to be last day of his life, and that too without seeing Aman for the last time…..

_Aman.._

Right! Karthik’s heart cries out for his lover. He doesn’t want to die yet…. his future is still left with his lover…. their plans together……….

_Maybe a last glimpse of his Aman smiling at him.. and tell him not to remain stuck with him and make a new family in the future!_

_Wait! What will happen to Aman now?_

Karthik’s eyes brimmed up with tears, thinking the worse.

And as if on cue, Nishikant kept the news paper by his side and stood up to walk at the opposite wall of the room…. Where two hunter’s rifle are kept in a cross hung on the wall.

Karthik remembered Nishikant once saying that his father was very keen of hunting. After his death, the hunting tools are assets now, but fully workable.

Karthik _tried_ to gulp down his thoughts.

“kya hua Karthik, chup ho gaye? Tumne jawab nahi diya. Kaisa hain Aman?” (what happened Karthik, you’re quite for the last few minutes? You didn’t answer my question. How’s Aman?)

Ka-ka—kaun Aman?”, Karthik tried, but god he had to stammer. But he tried, his last resort maybe.

Nishikant smirked, “Karthik bhole maat bano. You know which Aman I’m talking about. Of course, humare CM sahab ka beta………… aur aapka aashiq!” (do act ignorant, Karthik. Of course our CM’s son… and your lover!”)

Karthik saw how Nishikant drew his fingers on the rifle butt. He felt hopeless, emotions coming down all on him. That’s it… maybe this was where it would stop. He fell from the sofa to his knees on the floor. Tears streaming down his cheeks, now he has no where to leave. Nothing.

Nishikant might had brought him up, but he was going to take no nonsense with the party he had established with his sweat. That too if it involved the rival party.

“KYA HO RAHA HAIN YAHA?!” Nishikant screamed. (WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING HERE?)

Karthik jumped at the voice, he pulled his teary red face up. Just to see Nishikant pulling out the rifle from the wall.

Karthik immediately jumped up and ran to Nishikant, stopping short at his feet, clutching his legs, “ba—bapuji.. bapuji”, he sobbed, “ekbaar meri baat suniye…. Please ekbaar meri baat suniye…” (Bapuji.. please… listen to me once..)

“TUMHE ZARA SA BHI ANDAZA HAI TUM KYA KAR RAHE HO!!”, it was not a question. It was Nishikant, with his eyes, big and round, contemplating if he would pull back the bolt and press the trigger or not. “pura ka pura party bechne chale ho tum…….. Aur hum yeh hone nahi de sakta!” (DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!! You’re on the verge of selling the whole party….. and I can’t let that happen.)

Karthik was struck down with his ultimate fear now, new tears freshened up in his eyes. Nishikant was a strong man despite being in his early fifties. He bent down to catch Karthik’s collar and pulled him up and pushed him on the floor.

“bapuji ekbar humari baat sun lijiye.. please”, Karthik begged, his hands clasped together as Nishikant drew out his aim, “I will have no problem in hiding the casualties, Karthik. And at the cost of my party, I can do anything.” 

A pure feral spark triggered through Nishikant’s eyes. This was not Karthik’s godfather. Karthik lunged at his feet, “please bapuji.. dosh ho gayi hain..maaf kariye hume… par Aman se bohot pyaar karte hain. Uske bina nahi jee saakte---” (please bapuji, I have wronged, forgive me. But I love Aman too much. I can’t live without him..”)

“CHUP RAHO.. hum tumhe saadko se nahi uthaya ki tum hume aise dhoka do..” (SHUT UP! I didn’t bring you up from the streets, so you can backstab me.)

Karthik cried out again. How can he just forget Nishikant’s immense blessing on him. Whatever he’s today, it’s just because of him.

But Aman..

Karthik realised in this end moment of his doom, Aman was the reason, why he would go forward in life!

“dho—dhoka nahi hain, bapuji, hum to aapke pass pura jivan aabhari hain.. par Aman… humara rishta baki sabse koi matlab nahi raakhta bapu----” (I never cheated you, bapuji, I will forever be in your debt.. but bapu, Aman and my relationship holds no sense to all other things.)

“Aman kiska beta hain, pata hain? Humara rival group ke leader ka—” (Aman is whose son? Our rivals--)

“Kya ho raha ------ SIR!!!!! KARTHIK???” Vikrant went shocked seeing the scene in front of him, the tray of two cups of tea which he was about to deliver to his leaders, scattered on the floor, as he ran to beside Karthik.

“aao, Vikrant, ab aap bhi bol dijiye, aapko kitne din o se pata tha Aman aur Karthik ke bareme?”, the party leader so cruelly said it. Vikrant’s eyes went wide, Karthik choked on his own tears. Vikrant just held his arms across Karthik’s shoulder at Nishikant’s gunpoint. (come Vikrant, you also tell us, how much do you know about Aman and Karthik?)

Nishikant again said, “jo chal raha hain, wo nahi ho saakta Karthik. Yeh ghar aur party, aaj hi chor do… ya fir Aman ko!” (whatever is happening, it can’t happen again. Leave this home and the Party, right now……… or leave Aman)

Karthik like a ghost, pale as white sheet, he begged again, “aisa maat boliye bapuji”, he wailed out, “Aman ko nahi chod saakte…….” (pls.. don’t say like this bapuji. I can’t leave him)

“to fir politics!” (then politics)

“nahi ho saakta, bapuji”, Karthik was struck at his own words, he couldn’t fathom, “aap hi ne iss ke liye hume roz bada kiya, siksha di.. nahi kar saakte aisa.” (can’t happen, bapuji. You grew me up, educated me.. I can’t d it like this(

He got himself free from Vikrant’ hold and again fell to his godfather’s feet, “Aman ko pyaar karte hain, iss liye maafi nahi maang saakte. Uske bina Karthik, Karthik nahi rahega. Humare liye jo ho raha hain uske liye maafi mang saakte hain, aapne pyaar ke liye nahi. Par bapuji, ek samajdar politician baan ne ka junun aap se hi sikha hain. And I would rather rule with Aman by my side. ” (I can’t beg for sorry for loving Aman. I will not be myself, if I stay with him. But it’s from you from where I have started about Gandhi)

Karthik remain clung at his feet as he poured his heart out. What he said it’s true, he couldn’t choose. And he didn’t want to. When a reply did not comeback after a long time, he pushed a little bit further, “Aman and my relationship has nothing to do with our works, bapuji. Our relation shall not affect anyone or anything”

“better keep it that way!” a voice relatively soft yet strict came from above. Karthik instantly looked up. Nishikant had gone calm again, the rifle down. He chocked at his tears, the sudden change in atmosphere hitting him. Nishikant stooped down in front of him, cupped his face and wiped out the falling tears from his godson’s red rimmed eyes down his red cheeks and snotty nose.

And Nishikant gave a sad, small smile. “keep him safe, Karthik. This political world is ruthless. Yeh tumhe aise hi nahi chodega” (it’ll grasp you in its tentacles)

“bapu—bapuji…”, Karthik’s lips quivered, he could hear the sigh of relief Vikrant released with a sob.

“maine tumhari ek chitthi dekhi thi. Aman ne likha tha. Aur tumne ek bewakoof ke tarah iss table paar hi chor diya tha ek book e niche.”(i saw one of your letter, the one you had carelessly on the table)

Karthik so desperately searched for a hint for what was going to happen in the next minutes.

Nishikant continued, “mujhe bohot pehele se hi pata tha.” Karthik’s brain travelled to THE breakfast table talk. And his heart quaked at that point. (I know about it from long time)

_Does that mean, his godfather…_

But Nishikant cut him, “aur kuch maat kaho Karthik. Just because I am accepting your relationship and giving credits to you morality and fine judgement does not mean I am happy with it. Aman ka naam iss ghar me mujhe nahi sunna. Wo ab bhi humare opposition party hain. And in this world I know nothing except my job.” (don’t say much. Don’t take Aman’s name in from of me. And in this world I know nothing except my job)

“ji bapuji”, Karthik said slowly. His godfather stood up. “khud ka kheyal raakho Karthik. Aur yeh Party ka bhi. This is where your future lies, with or without Aman.” (take care of yourself, Karthik. And this Party as well. This is where your future lies, with or without Aman)

He walked out, but stopped a few steps after, “give my blessings to Aman. And never in your life think I can take the life of my son.” 

And with that Nishikant finally walked out.

Karthik stopped short on what just happened. Did his godfather blessed them or gave them a final warning? Karthik couldn’t understand. But one thing he was sure of was that he was alive. He pulled it out alive and can be with Aman.

He surged up with a new batch of tears and emotions. He was emotionally exhausted and drained. His spine gave out, he thrashed on to the floor.

Vikrant immediately crawled up to him and wrapped his arm around his _friend._ Karthik pressed his face to Vikrant’s chest as he rocked Karthik’s body. His own kurta staining with tears. God, his friend needed this and he would give him all the support now.

“Aman ko call kare?”, Vikrant asked. (should I call Aman?)

Without an verbal answer, Karthik nodded vigorously. He needed to see Aman now. Confide and deposit all his emotions.

Vikrant took him gently to the sofa and gave him a glass of water, “drink up, Karthik. Stay hydrated.”

He took the glass as Vikrant went to the next room to make calls to Ravi. He remembers, Aman some days live in in his flat near his college. Vikrant desperately wishes this night to be one of those days.

On the third ring, Ravi took up the call, “haan bolo! Itni raat ko?” (yes! What happened in this late night?)

Vikrant sighed, “arey Ravi, maat bolo yaar, bohot kuch ho gaya.” (oh Ravi, it was like a pandora box being opened.)

The bodyguard scowled, “kyun? Sab thik hai na?” (why? Everything alright?)

“Abhi sab thik hi hain, pehele yeh bolo, Aman aaj kya flat mein hain?” (right now all is well. First tell me, is Aman at the flat tonight?)

“ha..ha.. aaj hum Hauz Khas mein hi hain.” (yeah tonight we are at Hauz Khas.)

“okay! Aur koi hain waha?” (and is anyone else with you?)

“nahi! Sirf Aman, mein aur security personnel hain.” Ravi sounded a little bit confused by this point. 

“thik hai, mein aur Karthik ja rahe hain.. and don’t ask anything. I shall tell everything once we reach.” With that Vikrant cut the call and went to Karthik. He placed a hand on his shoulders and Karthik looked up.

“get ready Karthik!”

Aman was dying to know what had happened to Karthik at this hour of night. It was nearing 10 o’clock. He just had completed his dinner when Ravi had come in and told Karthik was visiting. He was confused and a little bit scared too.

“Vikrant bohot desperate lag raha tha.” Ravi had told him. (Vikrant seemed so desperate)

So once the doorbell rang, he shot towards the door, to find a Karthik draped over Vikrant, his hair askew and eyes bloodshot, cheeks strained with tears. Aman immediately made space on his bed in his bedroom, and took his lover from his friend’s arms into his and cuddled him in. And Aman really did notice, how Karthik immediately latched himself on the smaller boy’s frame, poking his nose into Aman’s neck and just breathing in his scent.

Aman cocked his eyes to Vikrant who gave him a sympathetic look. He huddled an equally confused Ravi out of the room and locked the room, maybe to tell him what has actually happened.

“bapuji ko pata hai humare bareme!”Aman jolted back to Karthik, his fingers stopping midway through carding Karthik’s hair. But he didn’t stop Karthik from continuing. (bapuji know about us!)

Karthik went on, “And I’m sorry!” he sat up and took Aman’s hand in his, “I am so sorry Aman. Hume yeh ehsaas bhi nahi hua pehle.” (I am sorry, Aman. I did not realise it earlier)

“kya, Karthik?”, Aman asked confusedly.

And so Karthik just overshadowed some parts and told what happened. But the incidents that took place did not bother Karthik as much as the realisations that hit Karthik at that gun point. So he decided to come clean with his guilt. It was eating him, in and out.

“I couldn’t choose only you.”

This is where the harsh reality came thrashing on Karthik. He couldn’t choose between his career and his love. And his godfather love and respect him enough to leave the question hanging out there.

Yes, Karthik loved Aman heart and soul, never in his living moment he would not think about him. His whole being is consumed by his lover, as if without Aman there would be no Karthik. And he’s ready to get to any odds to be with Aman for the rest of his life.

But…

He dreamt of being an able leader of his nation. As his mother had told in her deathbed, he would be successful, be a human. Be a person, everyone would look up to. His sister being his support and telling him to live a life he would remember. And his godfather, Nishikant had brought him up to that bank of the river. Now he just have to dive in and swim. Him, being in the political world, commanding towards a new generation is what he sees since his late teen years.

He couldn’t let that go. 

And he couldn’t let Aman go too.

At the verge of his life he realised this. And realised a **much more stronger thing** regarding Aman. Maybe that is why he felt this urgent need to confess to his love and seek _acceptance._

“Aman, hume maaf kar dijiye! I could not make you my priority.”

He was waiting for Aman to take back his hands from his hold, to see his broken expression on the face, an exasperated gasp demanding him answers, which Karthik did not have. Hell! Which lover didn’t want themselves to be prioritized.

Karthik’s heart broke a little when Aman did drew back his hands…….

But Karthik never fathomed that when those gentle hands cupped his jaws and pulled his face up. Only for him to see a face soft with emotions, almost teary eyed and a loved smile plastered. “humse kabhi bhi iss baat ka maafi nahi mangna, Karthik. Apne jo kiya sahi kiya.” (never beg forgiveness to me for this, Karthik. What you did is right.)

Karthik gasped at the words, “Aman—”

“sshh! Kuch nahi Karthik. Humse pyaar karte sahi hain, but never loose yourself. Aapne toh hume chunha na? fir?”, Aman tilted his face, “you chose me along with your life. Being in politics is your dreams, your individuality. Usse kaise kho saakte hain? Aur jo waise bol saakte hain, wo jhut bolte hain!” (sshh!. Don’t say anything, Karthik. You love me, its okay, but never loose yourself. You have chosen me, right? Then? you chose me along with your life. Being in politics is your dreams, your individuality. How can you loose that? And whoever says anything else, they simply lie about it.)

Karthik again broke down crying. His lover sitting here breaking him down, making him understand his real self, was a thing, a good thing, he never expected.

“Roiye maat!”, Aman chuckled within his own sobs as he nudged Karthik’s cheeks and thumbed the tears clean.

“Am—Aman! Oh god, what did I do to get you in my life?” Karthik uttered slowly as he pulled his lover close to him.

Aman smiled, “maybe just picking up my water bottle that day of the exam.”

Karthik laughed too and stared deep into Aman’s big brown beautiful eyes. He inched closer and pressed his lips on Aman’s. and Karthik took in everything he could.

It was kiss in between tears and emotional exhaustion and confessions and probably the purest and the rawest kiss of their relationship. Karthik nibbled on Aman’s lower lips and Aman gasped at that giving Karthik entry in his mouth. He pulled Aman on his lap, Aman’s well-toned legs straddling his waist. His one hand supported Aman’s small back, while the other cupped his face as Aman was doing to him. Their tongues laved against each other, hot and passionate.

They kissed and kissed and kissed, drinking in all their tastes, until Aman moaned out, “Karthik!”

Karthik immediately laid him down against the pillows at the headboard of the bed, Aman’s legs still clutched around his waist. He set his elbows on the either side of his head, their sensitive crotches brushing.

Aman moaned out lewd at the sensation. And when Karthik looked into his eyes, there was this same fire as within him.

“Karthik, please don’t stop. _I need you!_ ”, it came out as a mewl from Aman. And Karthik just wanted to dive in.

He was super aware of what is happening. They both broke down to each other, with too much passion and emotion. And now they just wanted to feel each other fully. They had been intimate before, shirtless and cuddling, but not to the ultimate point of being physical. It will be their first time together.

Aman seemed to read this inner thoughts. He pressed their foreheads, together “I want this, Karthik, I want you.”

“do you trust me?”, Karthik asked as he pecked his cheeks, his lips, his temple, ears, his collarbone.

“yes!” came a bold answer.

Karthik opened his shirt in one go as Aman traces his eyes all over Karthik’s muscle. He started to open Aman’s baggy shirt revealing every inch of his chest and trailing kisses all the way down.

Until he stopped.

To feel something around Aman’s waist. He hastily removed his shirt, to greet with the sight he couldn’t even think of.

A thin chain of flattened gold lies around Aman’s waist.

A freaking belly chain!

The gold chain lazily laid draped around Aman’s waist accentuating his curves and looking ever so innocent. But it did not know, neither Aman through his lust-hooded eyes, what the sight is actually doing to Karthik and his growing tent in his pants.

Karthik ultimately let out a growl, “you wear a belly chain?”

Aman glanced at Karthik, “aapko nahi paata? Have been wearing it since months. It’s my mother’s.”

Karthik wanted to smack himself for nor feeling it or seeing the chain before. But he eliminated the thought, after all this is the first time he was going to see his lover naked.

Just in a low voice he adds, “why are you wearing it? You look sexy as hell in that”. Aman blushed madly at that, “if you can wear a nose ring then I can wear it too.”

“sahi baat hain!”, Karthik smirked. He kissed along the seam of the chain, Aman squirming beneath him. The day after, Aman would see pelts of purple lying there.

A sudden dominance worked in Karthik, “on your fours, Aman!”

And Aman spent no time in getting up and getting down on his elbows and knees and presenting himself to his lover. Karthik kisses on the cheek and pushed up to trail his tongue along Aman’s spine down to his waist and slowly pulling his short pants down. Aman felt a rush of cold against all over his body.

“oh god Karthik!” Aman almost screamed his name in the dead of night as he felt Karthik’s tongue around him. Karthik smirked at Aman who was incessantly taking his name in blissful moans and begging as he continued tasting him. And Karthik loved it how vocal Aman was with his thoughts and pleasure. He licked Aman open making him a blabbering mess underneath him.

“Karthik please,” Aman begged, “take me already”

“I’m sure your baba would have a heart attack by now, if he ever heard you like this!”, Karthik arched his brows and smirked.

“DON’T TALK ABOUT MY BABA AT THIS MOMENT KARTHIK!!!”, Karthik gave a small laugh as Aman visible shuddered in his palms by the thought.

Karthik bent down to bite on his butt cheeks, as he planned to tease his sensitive lover a little bit more. But Aman would take no more shit.

He promptly looked behind him at Karthik with a death glare, “Karthik! IN. ME. NOW!”

And Karthik for a second thought who was in control.

Quickly dismissing his thoughts, he left out his pants, and stroked himself few times. Aman left a loud breath as Karthik pushes himself in one go. He fell on Aman’s back and nibbled his neck and ears to ease his pain as Aman made himself comfortable with the size filled in him.

“move Karthik!”, he asked in a low voice, “I’m okay!” Karthik nodded at him and gave a small thrust inside Aman. Aman hanged his head at the sheer pain and the pleasure he was experiencing. Karthik moved in him again and steadily quickened his pace.

Karthik could not fathom how sexy Aman looked from behind. His lithe body at perfect curves, and god that belly chain…. Its loose end hanging and shaking with each and every thrust, Karthik shall go mad by that only. He strongly held Aman around the waist, he’s sure to find pam prints the next day, the chain embossing its imprints under his palm. He pace increased with the increase in Aman’s moans and sighs, “faster, Karthik!”

Karthik pulled himself out and Aman cried out in sheer agony at the feeling of loss inside him, “I want to see your face, when you come, sweetheart!”, Aman mewled at the nickname and faces Karthik.

Karthik awed hoe tremendously beautiful Aman looked. Cheeks reddened, with sweat glistening, small puffs of breathe… Karthik pulled his legs up on his waist and again pushed himself back in as Aman’s eyes rolled close. Karthik bent down to kiss him, tongues entangled. Aman hugged his arms around Karthik, his face to his neck. He took in his thrusts as elegantly possible.

After a few more thrusts, Aman climaxed just before Karthik in him. Karthik thrashed upon him with heavy breathes. He again kissed Aman, this time slow and savoury, covering even the littlest space on his face. He leaned against the pillows, Aman coming up to snuggle on his chest. Karthik softly stroke his waist with his thumb.

“I love you Aman!” it was soft and slow.

“love you too, Karthik.” Came an equally soft voice.

And Karthik realised this time it felt different than the other ‘I love you’s. it felt more responsible.

Gone was the childish love, to live in the dreamy lands where everything is perfect, where hiding out and meeting secretly was fun. It was time for the couple to face the reality, of blood and conspiracies and secrecies. On what would actually happen if they get caught, to their future.

If the term ‘future’ even existed for them…..

************************************************************

this is the picture that gave idea to my kinky brain as I imagined Aman's belly chain

the awesome moodboard is made by <https://butterflywithwritersblock.tumblr.com/> on tumblr. she makes awesome moodboards. thanks didi! i love you. 

she's on ao3 as [Ashley2011](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashley2011)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so how was it... comments down below and if you liked it, leave kudos! till next time.


	6. These Violent Delights have Violent Ends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "These violent delights have violent ends"  
> \- Romeo & Juliet; Act 2 Scene 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yolo! I'm back bubbles!!! i know it's long, like hella long.. but my exams ar egoing on.. so I will be posting weekly..if you please stay with me. And thanks to all those people for loving this fic. I started it with zero plan, unlike "Simplicities & Complexicities..", so I had no hope with this fic. But after getting all the responses, I felt that,that I should annoy you more with the updates.
> 
> Enjoy, cupcakes! xoxoxoxo

_Present day…._

“Aman beta, nashta ready hain! Jaldi aao.” (breakfast’s ready, Aman! Come fast)

“aaya Mummy!”

This is exactly how, a day at ‘Tripathi’s’, starts. The workers bustle around the house, inside rooms and outside at the courtyard, cleaning a single mantle piece on the table till it’s silvery to the bonsai trees trimmed to perfection.

And the kitchen?

It’s a whole another ordeal. Mrs. Sunaina Tripathi, herself, directs the whole system right from break fast till dinner.

Slightly slipping in, her husband maybe the CM of the country capital, but the Tripathi tigress is the actual key here.

So to start the day, of course she is going to pamper her son, her brother-in-law’s son, Keshav and Goggle, when she would visit her ‘ _mai ki’_ , to have the best of breakfast. After all a filled up healthy stomach helps a healthy mind.

Aman bangs his door closed, slides down the stair rods to make it to the breakfast table, every day. To the point that everyone has stopped telling him.

“good morning, mummy!”, he quickly touches her feet and stands up to give pressing kiss the cheeks.

“khush raho!”, and as like every day, the mother suppressed her smile at her son’s antics. Well, cause she loves it.

Throwing the bag to the chair, Aman goes to seek blessing from his father too, with a smashing hug. And the father, unlike the mother, like every day, fully shows the love enveloped around the father-son duo, with his eyes closed, and a big grin with a little rocking of their bodies together.

Shankar will never deny, that this 10 seconds of every day, is the best time in all 24 hours. His son, is all he can think of.

The Tripathis are a joint family. Shankar and his brother Chaman always have stayed together, through the quarrels and joy. The children, Aman, Keshav and Goggle, all together have learnt to stay by each other’s side, and the love and the rebukes they get from the parents are equal to all of them.

But Aman has always been Shankar’s ‘the one’ in the subtlest of ways. Of course, it is because Aman is his son, but also the fact, there is also something, that binds them together.

He always had supported Aman’s every decision of life.

“papa, I don’t want to join politics!”

Then be it.

“smoking choriye papa, I don’t like the smell.” (quit smoking, papa, I don’t like the smell)

The whole family was astounded at how Shankar quitted his 32 years old habit at just the simple words of his 10 years old son.

“I want to study Physics in IIT ”

Of course beta, bohot badhiya…. 

“I like men, papa! I’ sorry..”

And Shankar had just laughed and hugged his teary eyed, snotty, 18 years old son.

“par humara damaad humare pasand ka hona chahiye” (just my son-in-law should be someone whom I like)

However a man Shankar Tripathi is in his professional political life, his relationship with his son is adored by everyone. They noticed how he never missed a single PTM of his son, and how he is frank with his son from downright teasing him at friendly dinners till Aman blushed madly to spoiling his son with all the things a CM can afford.

Because, Shankar know, the cruel world, the politics, is. Maybe tomorrow, he will go to his office but never come back. And he wants to keep his son away from all the brutalities.

But are the aces still in his hands, that’s a question of another day.

Right now, the father and the son was diving straight into _parathas_ and _paneer bhurji_ with a side of sweet _halwa_.

“classes aacha chal raha hain na?” Shankar asks.

“haan papa, sab thik hain. 3 mahine baad main exams honge!”

“aacha hain”

Aman stops eating for a second. Oh god! How little his father knew. And then he remembers Karthik telling him about the recent ‘bridge construction debacle’ that had happened.

So Aman tries again, “aapke office mein sab thik hain na papa?”

Shankar turns his eyes straight to Aman from the newspaper, and frowns, “why? You never ask me about my office works, Aman.”

Aman gulps down a weird mass down his throat, and laughed nervously, “kyun nahi? You asked me about my college. I should ask you too.”

Shankar sighs, he clearly has no clue what his son know and how he knows. And Aman becomes sure at that, when a shadow falls over his father’s face.

“what can I say, beta! The whole thing is so getting messed up day by day.”, he turns a sad eye at the distant courtyard, “the party is at it’s weakest point it has been ever. Even the Raj Nagar bridge construction is out of hand now. Public ko kya bole next promotion mein?”

Aman knots his brows, “how will it affect by saying it now? When you had the chance, the party could have done it then?” 

Shankar gives a small laugh caressing Aman’s smooth hands, “son, the political world may look broken from afar, but from the inside it works like a well oiled machinery. Everyone has his own part to play. ‘Change’ doesn’t come here by good works.

‘It’s not like your assignments you complete working hard overnight. Here we play games, emotionally unbalanced games, to secure us. And when we emerge victorious, we don’t have the power to do good at the best extent. It’s the time when we think ‘I want to do it for myself’

‘of course, we do good works, but the undone work shadows everything”

Aman looks down. For his heart was racing to two pole opposite directions.

His father…..

His lover….

He’s broken from his thoughts, when he hear his father chuckles, “that’s why, son, I kept you bay away from this. You’re too soft for this world. You can’t order execution just by words”

“PAPA!”, Aman is horrified at the words.

Shankar laughs, “na..na..don’t worry! I never did that.” _‘at least not directly’ was kept **hidden** …_

Aman shakes his head to let go of the thought, “and the coming election, what about it?” He asks to steer away the past references.

Shankar sighs again, “don’t know Son! But we are all guessing a possible loss. Funds nahi hain, reputation has fallen, and there is no representative” his head droops down, “23 years, Aman, 23 years, Pragritishil Swadesh has sat on that chair, god knows what will happen now. I will be honest, that I’m losing faith”

After staying quiet for a few minutes, Shankar says again, “you know who’s Karthik Singh?”

Aman shakes up.

What the hell his father is talking about?

Does he know?

Fuck NO!!

“n-na, papa, wh-who is he?”, Aman’s spine was like someone splashing freezing cold water at it.

“well, you should know him”, Shankar says coolly.

Aman balks at his bite of paratha, “WHY?”

Shankar is at his last bite of the halwa, “he’s a very potent boy, you know? He snatched that Raj Nagar plan, straight from under our noses, despite everything. Very promising! Goes right into the core of the whole politics.”

Aman blushes, his ears warms up.

How to tell your father that he’s maybe talking about his future damaad?

His insides are doing somersaults at how his father is praising him. But if he could tell.

He just distantly hear his father speaking, “if only I had this boy in my party!! Nishikant Srivastav will take all the plates now.”

“what happened, bapuji? You called Vikrant as well as me?”

Both the friends were so surprised when Nishikant had called them from the office, quiet desperately from his office this morning. He sounded demanding and so tensed.

When Karthik and Vikrant enters the office, they find the party leader drowned in phone calls. Nishikant shushes them for a time being as he returned to his calls.

“ha..ha.. Pradhanji, wo bills bhejiye hume!” (yes, Pradhanji, please send me the bills)

He cuts the call and gives out a deep sigh.

“Vikrant, go and close the door, put the ‘don’t disturb’ sign. It’s important”. Karthik does not fail to notice the weak voice.

Finally, when they are seated, Nishikant clasped his hand together in front of lips, “you know? There is a misplacement of almost 50 crore money from the party bank account”

“50 CRORE?!” both the boys shrieked out from their place. This is what they never expected in the first place.

“how the hell did that happen?” Vikrant asks.

“itna saara paisa?”, Karthik has eyes round as he gasps. (this much damn money?!)

Nishikant throws his hand in despair. “don’t know boys! Who took it, and how they took it, its impossible that I know. And it’s taken from the party’s prime account. We had saved the money for the publicity plans. Not that it will affect anything..”

“that means there is a possible bug in the party…” Vikrant reasons.

“hawww!!” Karthik’s mouth turns an ‘o’.

“uff! Itna dramatic maat baniye, sir!!” (uff! Don’t be so dramatic)

Nishikant rolls his eyes, “sahi hain Vikrant, there IS a bug, within us…. Who is feeding inside information to opposition party…. Remember, how PSA announced the strike, only the day you were about to have our rally, few months back.”

“and the messed up situation with the blue print of the Raj Nagar bridge. We never got to show it to the Governor”, Karthik tells.

“but how did you find it, sir? About the money?”, Nishikant frowns a little bit at Vikrant. At this moment, he can’t trust anyone.

“well, Pradhanji, our finance handler, called me, and told, he can’t place those 50 Crores anywhere. The calculation was long overdue.. so much so, he even forgot about it since the beginning of this year. But then he was going through the old records of the salary slips, when he had found the bill. The bill is anonymous, of course”

“how do we find that person then? It’s all so shady, bapuji!”

“at this moment, we can’t do anything, Karthik. Day after tomorrow are the first round of elections. We have to manage at least in the exit polls. We all have worked too much for this”

Nishikant’s drooped cheeks and faint black under eyes doesn’t go amiss by anyone. He has much pressure over his shoulders.

Vikrant stands up, “chinta maat kariye, Sir! Iss baar yeh humari naam”

Karthik smiles looking up at him. They need this positive energy.

Nishikant speaks again.

“waise Karthik! Don’t tell about this finance mishap to Aman, ok?”

Three weeks later……

It was 32 seats vs. 5 seats win in the elections. When in the news they had shown AIDP winning the exit polls in the first round of the elections by 73%, Nishikant knew, it would be new time for their party.

And it did!

Honestly no one surprise though!

Even The Great Roman Empire had fallen.

Yes! A 23 years rule was along time, but really not long enough in a new growing country where Change Is Constant!

Nishikant is just getting what he has aspired for years and also Karthik has always aimed.

The day is enough blurry. With the announcement of the last ballot box result, Karthik just wants to snuggle deep into Aman’s arms and have the longest sleep of his life.

The previous night of the results, when they had met at Aman’s flat in Hauz Khas, Karthik had repeatedly told him, whatever the results are nothing’s going to change in between them.

Aman rubbed his palm against Karthik’s cheeks and neck, with eskimo kisses had promised it. “not that I really care about politics, but it would be really amazing to see my sexy lover give speech to the entire nation”.

And they had made love, tasting each other’s flavours and touches all night long.

Through the window, Karthik saw _gulal_ , pink, green and yellow, and so many smearing the air with it’s own colours. It is a holi of it’s own. He sees, packets of mithais and bouquets of flowers are coming in with words of congratulations and hugs of comfort.

But Karthik needs to see Aman now. He suddenly feels suffocated. He does not know why.

He has always dreamt of that day. Karthik silently remembered his mother and sister. Their pictures framed atop the table. His eyes brim up with water.

_“…be a successful man..”_

_“… get a life..”_

The last words drumming in his ears. He gives a small sad smile. Tomorrow will be the oath ceremony, and the party has decided, Karthik to be chosen as the MLA.

“it’s the first step, Karthik!”

“I know.”

With a sigh, he covers his face with his handkerchief and comes out of the office. Through the masses of people hollering with colours with joy and excitement, Karthik leaves the maddening crowd behind to reach a narrow alley way!

Just like the one his father had found him with the guy, Samar, years back…

Only this time, here stands another guy. The difference is that, now Karthik will not run away. He has found the fixed point of his life.

“so you finally came?”, Aman smiles a little and walks up to his lover. He reaches for the handkerchief , traces his index finger along Karthik’s lips and jawline and softly tugs the cloth out.

“baadhai ho, Mantri sahab”.

Karthik feels a soft powder being rubbed against his cheeks, a bitter taste on his tongue. Aman has smeared it a typical red gulal, mischief and happiness in his eyes.

Karthik cannot contain himself anymore, heated romance taking on in hi senses. He pulls in Aman with his waist by one hand and lifts his chins with fingers of the other. He drags his gulal-smeared cheeks down Aman’s and kisses the corners of the soft lips, slowly deepening it down.

The lips overlapped, as of their life hanged on it. The colour painting the kiss, red as both feel the taste. With a deep breathe, Aman pulls out, smiling and throwing a wink, “promise to do your job well, Karthik!”

“I will.” Karthik too smiles back as he rests their forehead together for a few moments.

Only to dive back into another kiss again.

The alleyway secured from the shouting crowd around, two lovers embraced in each other’s comfort, seeking all the energy they will need, for the uncertain future. What the next day holds, no one knows.

And in the bliss, the two lovers fail to see a shadow, hidden in the dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't judge okay! i know, i dead ass copied that kiss scene from 'Ramleela'. I can't help, Deepveer burned my ovaries with that scene. Trust me I had my bisexual awakening there! *phew*  
> any way, you liked the chapter? comment down below... and don't forget to hit kudos... please hit the kudos and give comments *begging with pearly tears*
> 
> until next week....


	7. Hell is Empty and All the Devils are here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hell is empty and all the Devils are here"  
> \- The Tempest; Act 1 Scene 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Chapter titles do say almost all the summary of the respective chapters.  
> The past characters will come back now from the hidden.
> 
> so please recapitulate the past chapters.

That day all high influential politicians of Delhi, U.P., Bihar, Haryana and other adjacent states are gathered in the Prime Minister’s office in Delhi, irrespective of their party, both ruling and non-ruling, allies or rival.

It is a time of need, as most of the northern part of the country is facing a mass famine, the agriculture has stopped, pests have infected most of the lands, the heat is scorching and everything bad that can happen is actually happening.

Such agricultural disasters is not common in the country. It happens all the time. But Nishikant notices, that this time they have to run around the places is because, this time this pest attack has reached an uncontrollable, and more than that, how the prices of the grains is day by day increasing 10 time due to the middle men. The farmers who come from the villages with vegetables and grains are dipping in loan, their farms are getting destroyed in front of their eyes.

He knows it. The men, women, and the kids whose usually spent their whole lives on the streets, wear rags, and eat whatever they can, are not even able to eat those things too.

It’s cruel.

But this is reality.

The party has set up corners to give out food, you can take it as gruel, because **it** **is gruel.** You can’t make out the difference between the rice grain and the pulses, and the small amount if the green beans that floats in the soup. And there is a longest lines in from of the make shift corners to get this gruel, for his wife, for her children or for their elderly parents. Since 4 in the morning!

Life is hard, more than we expect it to be. Nishikant knows it. but they can’t spend their fund in giving luxurious food items.

Can they?

They can….. actually

But what will happen, if the situation worsen?

They have to keep on supplying more food to them.

For god’s sake, he has become the CM only for two months and a half now. And in many corners, some antis are even spitting poison on the very new government. Of course this was going to happen, now or later. And Nishikant is well aware, he can handle it.

Karthik is facing a lot. He is downright overwhelmed.

He is pathetically re-living the days in the slum during his childhood. Though his family condition was _somewhat_ stable than the rest of the others. His father brought home whatever was left after his drinking, and his mother worked at a local shop. But his sister and him lived enough satisfied. But the siblings have seen hand in hand, what goes on in the deeper parts of the slum.

No food

No clothes

No security

No voice

No future

….. and no justice!

His family…..

It’s been years, Karthik has lost count, he was only 17 then, since he had seen what was left as his ‘family’!

“what is bapu doing?” Karthik swallows at the thought, “is he even alive?”

Looking at the people in his area, fighting cats and dogs for the gruel, and him in an well suited house….. the simple idea!

Within such a small time, merely a few weeks, what has happened! The damn pests!

Their country was not ready to face the famine.

And true his young blood is enough overwhelmed by all these thoughts. He’s coming out with plans, “we should do this, do that” as all of us do, but with zero implementation…..

The big fishes of politics, by now know, they have to stay together. Because with famine, next will spread diseases. The educated class, they can fool them no more. Today, they are enough active to bring an already fallen empire more down.

Shankar Tripathi knows it.

He himself goes to meet Nishikant Srivastav, “the rivalry can stay behind for a few months, isn’t it CM sir?” he shook the present CM’s hand.

Nishikant laughs, “sahi bola aapne, Tripathi Sahab!”

And round the glass table, all the CMs and other party leaders, came to a vague shady decisions to pay out rations and to bear transport of grains from other states. And the discussion is still going on, as always…

“Kart—”, Aman could not finish his words as Karthik bites deep on his shoulder blades, and drags his tongue up to the collarbone. Aman shivers at that, a lewd moan escapes his lips, as he feels the painful pleasure he gets with every thrust from his lover.

Karthik’s hand fondles with the belly chain on Aman’s waist.. even after years it still drive him crazy!

God knows, how many times Aman has come to his dreams, wearing **only** the belly chain.

He drags his sweaty palms down Aman’s lithe torso, hickeys and palm prints marks his back, ruffled hair, Aman is indeed an erogenous sight.

He deepened his thrust more fast, the kisses increase as do their loud moans.

And Aman does the most disastrous thing he can. He opens his brown warm eyes to look at Karthik, only in the eyes, his palm drags over Karthik’s toned chest, his legs circled around his hips, his bruised plump lips slightly agape.

“I love you, Karthik”

No words come from Karthik’s behalf, as only he swoops down and kisses Aman’s lips, the tongue mapping every part of his lover’s hot cavern. And nuzzles his face right into Aman’s crook!

Aman hugs him from under his arms, his eyes closes and inhales deeply as he feels both of their orgasm pooling in their stomach.

“i-im close..”, the words dies in his throat slowly and he squeezes his eyes close, as do their heat.

Karthik falls limp on his body, breathing deep, to satisfy his lungs, their sweaty naked body pressed to each other.

The gold of their belly chain and nose pin gleaming!

Vikrant pulls out an old journal from the newspaper office. He searches for the headlines through the heaps of papers lying beside him on the table. After going through 4-5 news papers thoroughly, he comes across the news.

“ **A group of girls abducted on their way from college”** , the police never found them, the justice never delivered to the families.

Vikrant pulls out a small leather bound diary from his bags, and writes all the points in it.

As he’s done, he comes out of the office, a little satisfied with his ongoing works.

“Chaliye Alok!” he gets in to his office car.

“ji Sir!” as Alok accompany him as they drive back to the party office.

The servant comes and sets two cups of tea on the centre table, and leaves with a slight nod at the Shankar Tripathi.

Shankar, himself goes, to stir a cup for the person sitting in front of him and one for himself.

“shukriya, Mr. Tripathi. Dekh kar tajub hota hain ki humara ‘ex-CM’ bhi hume seva kar rahe hain!”

Shankar scoffs, and slowly mutters, “ex!”.

This man in front of him is really a shadow, a mystery! Shankar never found out his interest, but he works for him, albeit himself too. But Shankar has no loss in this….

Or does he?

“toh meeting kaisa tha? Srivastav se baat hua?” the man asks and sips the tea with a sound.

Shankar takes a sip too, “haan baatein ki humne, aachi baatein, and he seemed quite invested in the famine situation”

“pehele kuch saal, sabh kuch me invested rahega..aap bhi toh the na, Tripathi Sahab?”, the man smirks.

Shankar knows the deal, he knows how this man tightens the ropes around someone’s words.

He quickly averts the topic, “so you thought of something?”

The man keeps his cup on the table and leans back, “you know the taste of power, Mr. Tripathi. You know how it feels. To lead the entire capital, is like ruling a kingdom, you are the king, and everyone is your slave..”

The ex-CM keeps quite, who knows where this man is actually going?

With no interruptions the man continues again, “but some kings are failures, some leaders step down from their leadership. Some are sometimes forced to. Nishikant isn’t a man to hand over his liability and duty, himself.” He grins evilly.

Shankar frowns, “kya kehana chaahate ho?”

The man shrugs, “bring Nishikant down, throw him from the chair, if you want the kingdom again. Make him do it?”

“but how?”

The man’s eyes turn feral, “pressurize him so much, that he’s forced to resign. Make use of the situation that is going on. It’s a high time.. And there is always the bridge!”

The politician huffs, “what are you even trying to say?”

“oh, Tripathi sahab, aap politics mein aaye kaise? The people lives are always for monopoly, aap jante hain na? when the bridge is already made, and the people are already hungry, why not throw in some religion?”

Shankar keeps quite, partly cause he is still not getting what he is trying to say.

“Bridge kaha bana? Raj Nagar mein. And ultimately where, just **in between,** bilkul bich mein”, and the man gives out an erratic laugh.

When he is about to leave, feeding and get fed how much both Shankar and he both want, he asks again, “waise, Tripathi Sahab? Aapka beta Aman kaisa hain? Bolna chahiye.. Bohot khubsurat hain aapka laadka.”

“haan aacha hi hain! Aabhi toh College mein hain”, Shankar replies.

“college mein?”the man laughs, “aap thik jante hain na?”

Shankar stammers a little, “ha.. college me hi hoga, kyun?”

The man laughs, “thik hain..thik hain, I am bidding good bye now!”

With that he just walks away humming old hindi songs…

“ _zindagi ek safaar hain suhana…”_

Karthik throws himself on the soft bed, after disposing off the condom and cleaning himself and Aman too. His small lover immediately snuggles into him, arms and legs round his torso.

The moment was bliss, Aman slowly tracing his hands along his jawline and arms, the cool evening wind ruffles the curtains. Karthik just shifted his glance to the ceiling, and he hears his name being called….

_Karthik.._

_Karthik.._

_KARTHIK!!_

The shout breaks his thoughts. He snaps his head to the side, Aman has lifted himself on his one elbow, his beautiful face looking worried.

“kya hua, Karthik? Kuch khoya khoya lag rahe hain? You seem distracted!”

Karthik frowns, “no..no.. nothing Aman, I’m alright.. **I am perfectly fine!”**

The last words are more like to himself.

“I know when somethings happen to you Karthik.”, Aman’s voice droops down, he looks elsewhere, “you didn’t say you love me back”.

The voice was sort of accusing.

Karthik looks at Aman, and something shakes him up from the core. Now he has nothing to run away from.

“really? I’m sorry, Aman. You know I never mean anything bad.”

“I know, that’s why I am being patient and want to know what is going on in your stupid little head”

Karthik chuckles, but that contrasted with the drop of tear that rolls down from the corner of his eyes.

“I’ll admit, I was a little distracted!”

“so that was a sex for distraction?”, Aman asks, “anyone else on your mind?”

“what?”, Karthik gets shocked, “what. No..no.. Aman, never!!”, he cups his face in his palms, “you are the only one I love, you know that!”

Aman nods a little.

“it’s just that I miss my family….”

And a dam of years of collective agony bursts..

Aman lay there drinking all the pain, Karthik is giving out. His each talk about his family. He knows about them, how cruelly all had met their fate, but this time there was something else in Karthik’s voice. The longing for justice.

“I just stood there, Aman. Watching my mother getting beaten up.. and dying. My sister dragged away in front of me. Her beautiful body getting destroyed, with no one to help her. I just remember her blue salwar and braids with ribbons”, Karthik’s voice is erratic. With tears and choking.

“it is still happening. The same slums I grew up from, they all are out of their life’s passion, and today still I could do nothing.. just like I have done years ago”

Aman just hugs him, whispering, “sometimes, we have to let things go, Karthik! Some people are meant to be. This is where class distinction rise”

Karthik looks in Aman’s eyes, maybe Aman is saying this because, all through his life he never knew what poverty is. Aman belongs to the upper class where there is only ‘beautiful things’. But somewhere he’s true, here comes, social hierarchy.

And there should be.

Because if all people falls in all line.. it will be an Eutopia, yes… but there will be no distinction in between a man who is wise and who is cruel, who is literate and who is illiterate, who will be the master because he has achieved it, and one who works under him, because he was too lazy to achieve his goal.

“Karthik, you sister, she has given her life to you. Remember you are living her life, and your mum blessed it! you have to grow on for them, if not for yourself, okay?”

Karthik smiles, “ok!”, and pressed a loving kiss on his lips. He is a leader, a damn MLA of a region, which he can lead, statistically and strategically.

There will be losses but the gain will be more.

Freedom in lieu of blood.

“I promise, Aman!”

“good”, Aman gives a promising smile too, “but there will be no more distracting sex! I am not a thing to be taken as granted”, he says in little.

And here is Karthik always envious of his lover, voicing for his rights and self-respect, “yeah, Aman, I love you too”

The two lovers, smiles deep into each other, through sobs and promises

And hope.

“Arrey, Vikrant, tum ghar nahi jaoge aaj?”, Karthik asks as he comes homes that night from Aman’s apartment. Vikrant sometimes stays back in the home office, since he’s technically Karthik’s PA.

“oh sir, yes , I’m going just now”. Vikrant smiles, he is just collecting his bags.

“oh, wait a minute, I will make some coffee, have a chill and then go home, kay?” Karthik smiles as he goes for the mugs.

“no sir… its—”

“keep quiet, Vikrant!”

Karthik loves this boy very much and he’s so glad he is PA. He catches every word so well. But what he loves the most is Vikrant is the best friend he can get. Ravi is good, but he’s more of a friend to Aman, while Devika is his friend since college. They are the best duo. But Vikrant can tackle her.

Actually he’s the one his relationship with Aman is growing more strong, from suggestions to ideas.. everything! Just in return of Aman’s hand made food.

He asks about his mother, who loves Karthik from heart. And Karthik also never forgets to gift her presents on every puja or Diwali.

“coffee aachi bani hain, Sir!”

“I know, I make great coffee..”

Vikrant smirks, “but not as great as Aman sir”. Karthik just gives him a death stare.

“waise when is the result? You gave the exam for accountancy? Right?”

“yes, sir, it’ll be next month. My cousins are also deciding to study finance like me”, Vikrant says giddily.

“really? That’s great!”, Karthik grins at him, “you’re an inspiration, Vikrant!”

“thank you, sir”

“Ammi kaisi hain?”

“aachi hain sir. Aapke baatein bohut karti hain!”

They continued chatting, with occasional, eating snacks and light sips on the coffee. They talk about Aman too, and Vikrant excitedly tells him some more plans to surprise Aman.

Work. They talk about work mainly, what to do tomorrow, with the rations.

“sir, I will deal with the ration bills tomorrow”

“okay.. the faster the better. So many things happened so fast… I had thought about changing the furnitures, the rooms, study a bit more.. and then this mishap happened. It’s so tragic”, Karthik breathes out a deep sigh.

“furnitures, sir?”

“aahh yes! They all are ages old, and need some renovations and some decorations.”

“yes, my house need too. There is simply some wall hangings, curtains and vase which can be counted as a decoration item.”, Vikrant laughs, “my favourite is the vase though.”, he takes his final sip of the coffee.

“vase?”, Karthik asks.

He sees Vikrant suddenly halting.

“ye-yes! Baba had gifted it to Ammi, its nostalgic actually and very important now”

“yeah it is”, the MLA says slowly, he can feel how important it is.

“okay sir, I’m leaving now, thank you sir!”

“wait, how will you go?”

“I’ll tell Alok, don’t worry”, Vikrant smiles.

And as he is leaving, Karthik takes him in a hug. At first, Vikrant is surprised, but he slowly hugs back too.

“I never told a thank you, for everything you did, Vikrant! Thank you”

“it’s alright sir, you all are my family”, Vikrant smiles.

It is a warm hug. And slowly they detached themselves from each other and Vikrant says, “sir, you and Aman, both stay blessed.”

“definitely, Vikrant.”

And with that Karthik sees, his friend, his confidant, his PA and as he said, his ‘family’, getting in the white car and driving into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> only a few chapters remain, the shadows are collecting their stories together, and I will give more frequent updates, so that you don't loose the story line.  
> leave kudos, and all your comments.. please..please..please..  
> PLLEEAASSEEEEEE!!!


	8. O Wretched State! O Bosom Black as Death!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "O Wretched State! O Bosom Black as Death!"  
> \- Hamlet; Act 3 Scene 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the scenes will become more violent. Follow the tags, you have been warned!

“breakfast ho gaya na aapka? kar ke hi office jayiega!”

Karthik _literally can see_ Aman’s worry pouty face through the telephone.

“ha baba. Kar liya hain maine. Now I shall depart for office. Vikrant wahi hoga.”

Aman speaks from the other line, “who aapke saath nahi hain? Doesn’t he stay at your house.”

“he does. But he went home yesterday night.”

“aaj rations deliver karna hain toh? Keep water bottles with you, ok?”

Karthik laughs.

“Aman, stop behaving like those nagging wives. I know you worry. But I will be fine. I am 28 for god’s sake”

Karthik swears this time he _hear_ Aman rolling his eyes.

“really?”. No. this is the angry tone. “next when you won’t find your watch in my apartment, don’t whine to me.”

Karthik dunks his face to his hands.

And smiles.

He has the telephone clutched between his ears and shoulders as he’s wearing the watch on his wrist.

“ok, babu! Ok! I’m sorry. I’m hanging up now. Gotta dash”

“ok”, came a low baby voice, “love you”

Karthik grins, “love you too.. Amu!”

And this time he guarantees, the heat of Aman’s blush is seeping through the speaker.

And they cut the call together, without another word.

Karthik hurries in to the white ambassador waiting outside his home.

“good morning, Chowdhury ji!”, his eyes travel to the other side of car, “Aarey, Mehboob, aaj tum aye ho? Alok kaha hain?”. Mehboob is the other bodyguard in charged in absence of Alok, for Karthik.

Chowdhury speaks up, “Alok office mein hain, Bade Sahab ne jaldi bulaya usko.” (Alok is at the office. Bade Sahab called him in rather early this morning)

“thik hain, Chowdhury ji, aab chate hain”

Karthik goes through the city that morning watching the scenes passing by. The roads deserted, most of the stores closed, and the poorest of people lying down on the footpaths.

Karthik deeply exhales. This situation of famine is disastrously affecting him. And by this moment he can do nothing. While he wants to do something for the public, oh! How he cruelly knows 1/3 part of the whole scenario is man-made.

There is always a community that suffers, they are born to suffer.

Karthik rolls up his car windows.

H steps in to the office, and for the first time, he gets an absurd chill from the office environment. The lights are oddly dim, the sound of the fans has amplified. The workers look at him with most sympathetic looks.

Indu ji, behind the counter looked almost crying.

What the actual fuck is going on? Karthik frowns.

And for hell, Vikrant is also not here standing at the hallway with the mug of tea, as he everyday does. They both have a long day ahead, they need their teas.

Karthik clicks his tongue and heads towards his bapuji’s office.

He opens the door to the chilly air of the air cooler.

“coming in, bapuji.”

Nishikant looks up at him from the other man in the room.

A police officer?

“ha, aao”, Nishikant again faces the police man, “thik hain, Commissioner sir, if you leave the both of us for a minute.”

“yes Sir”

With that, a salute to Karthik, he goes out.

“what’s happening, Bapuji? What’s the police doing here? And what’s with everyone out there!”

“first take a seat, Karthik.”

“but Bapuji, I have a job, me and Vikrant have to go out delivering the ration”, Karthik ignores the slight tears that accumulates in Nishikant’s eyes, behind his glasses, so he continues, “speaking of him, WHERE IS VIKRANT? I haven’t heard or seen---”

“he’s murdered…..”

The words are light, barely audible, that comes out of the CM’s mouth, but enough for Karthik to shut up.

His shoulder droops down, the irritation on his eyebrows smoothens, his mouth agapes.

A confusion and frown appears on his face.

“huh? What?”

Nishikant’s jaws tightened, and rounds his fist on the desk.

“he’s murdered. Vikrant is dead! His body is found this morning in his house…”

“STOP IT!!”, Karthik screams, “what the hell are you talking about? How can he be dead. In fact I saw him last night. Stop pranking, bapuji, it’s not funny!!”

Nishikant sees a violent face on Karthik, all red, without a trace of sad emotion. He does not believe it. the CM stands up. Karthik is going in to hysteria.

His bapuji quickly engulfs him in a hug, and drags him down on the sofa, “listen to me Ka-Karthik!”, his own voice cracks, “it’s true.. Vikrant is no more..”

“stop saying it, bapu.. stop saying it”, Karthik’s voice muffles in Nishikant’s chest, “he’s not dead, how can he be dead? It’s impossible”

His bapu looks at him, “I’m sorry, Karthik. It’s the truth.. he’s not in the office today.. or will ever…”

Karthik can’t figure out what is happening. It’s too sudden, unexpected, too fast to process. Too many things are happening.

How can Vikrant be dead, no less murdered.

He still lay snuggled into Nishikant on the sofa, with jumbled emotions as he hears his bapu’s narration.

“the sweeping lady found the main door of his house unlocked, inside every piece of furniture and object laid scattered. The whole situation was a mess. The lady found it suspicious and at the corner of the kitchen door, she found Vikrant laid, stabbed multiple times, skin scratched until every part of the body is mutilated and cut open, fingers chopped. Blood was splayed everywhere.. on floors and walls…”

And the rest of the words goes unheard in Karthik’s ears.

“I want to go there, go there at crime scene.” He stands up straight.

He looks at Nishikant. “I will go..”

Karthik has always come to Vikrant’s house to a clean and furnished home. This time it is quite the opposite.

Everything, literally everything was broken or trashed, with a violent smell of blood. He goes further in to the room, sees the outline of his friend’s body drawn by chalk.

“uske Ammi ko khabar diya geya hain?” he asks the Police Commissioner, Mr. Rathe beside him.

“ji sir, just a few minutes back”

“thik hain. Koi lead?”

“as far as we’re concerned, we are taking this as an act of dacoity. This is a serious scene of scuffle but we are not sure of this idea. Nothing seems to be missing..”

Karthik turns around, everything seems too much.

And in middle of everything, Karthik seemed to had forgot all his emotion. Maybe because even half an hour back, he did not accept the fact that he may not see Vikrant anymore and shall still jump on him like a koala, but now with his house empty, surrounded by forensics and police……………………. Everything is coming into place.

A dam of turbulent emotion breaks in, Karthik cannot stop, he howls in an anguished cry and falls upon his knees. He’s weak. He’s vulnerable. He’s bleeding.

How? How did it happen? Who will want to kill Vikrant, that sweet soul who **had** a shining future ahead, who loved nothing more than his Ammi’s soft touch and Aman’s hand-made food.

Karthik feels the comforting gesture Rathe give, a hand on his shoulders. Nishikant, also present there, looks over to the other side of the room.

Karthik nods, it is not a time for a breakdown. Vikrant needs a justice. His murderers needs to be punished. Karthik can’t let this happen after his mother and sister.

He has power now. He can do it!

In the middle, a police subordinate comes to Rathe, “sir, we found this under the tv rack.”

It is a small piece of paper. Crushed. 

“ **you’ve reached too far. It’s time to be silent** ”

“it’s a direct threat, CM sir!”, Rathe looks over at the CM.

Karthik read his bapu’s change of emotions over that small piece of note.

Karthik frowns, “you know something? Isn’t it bapuji?”

“I guess.”

“remember the money scandal of that 35 crore rupees before the election?”, Nishikant asks

“that Pradhan ji wala case?” Karthik counters.

“yes, that one! Officer, you know about it, right? I told you this morning. After that Vikrant found many other anonymous bills and tips from the finance. By then we were confirmed, that some scam is going on, specially around Pradhan. He knew something of course, but we had nothing as solid proof.”

“True, he must know something, otherwise, how is it possible that this huge amount of money got tipped anonymously!”

“right! So Vikrant was doing his silent investigation. I told him so. And he really suggested in between that a bigger circle is behind all these..”

“so maybe after Alok dropped him at night here, the incident happened afterwards”, Rathe says.

“alok?”, Karthik asks, “have you questioned him?”

“yes, he said he dropped Vikrant here and went back to the office to keep the car. And then returned to his home”

“but—”

“we have verified the timings, Mr. Singh, with the Office security, as well as the small vendor near his house. They confirmed. In fact we also had our initial suspicion on him.”

“so have you found out what he was searching?”

Nishikant huffs, “that’s the thing.. maybe all the leads went with him, unfortunately.. or maybe with the murderer. The killer must have searched for the proofs, judging by the state of the rooms..”

Karthik again feels that tugged emotion in him.

How can Vikrant leave him, how can anyone snatch him away from him.

They say it right, ‘you don’t know the wealth of water, until the well is dry’. He never knew, Vikrant was that much precious to him. What will he say to Aman now?

Last night, Vikrant had blessed him and Aman, called them his family.

Last night they talked so many things

party-politics

education

their families

home

coffee

their plans with their decorations

furniture

vase

nostalgia

Vase

_Vase!_

**“ _ye-yes! Baba had gifted it to Ammi, its nostalgic actually and very important now_ ”**

**_very important now_ **

****

**_now_ **

****

Karthik jumps up from where he is sitting on the chairs. He looks around the room madly. If a certain vase has still make it of the storm that has gone through the house.

“Karthik? Kaha ja rahe ho?” Nishikant calls, but without answering, Karthik wanders through the rooms.

Through the piles of the dumped trash and broken walls, Karthik is about to give up, as he ultimately reaches the front space. Of course almost all glass or ceramic items are broken.

When suddenly his eyes goes at the little brownish jar under an unassuming cabinet. A plastic flower in it.

He walks to it, pick it up. A simple jar like earthen vessel, that can hardly pass as a vase only for the plastic flower dipped in it.

Karthik feels something in it as he swishes the vase in his hand. He turns it upside down.

The flower fell down…

And a small leather bound diary.

Really small, like a small contact note pad.

“Sir, kya hua?”, Karthik hears Rathe calling him, and he quickly inserts the diary in his waist coast pocket, just in time the Commissioner enters the room, “you find anything, Sir?”

“no, no…Mr. Rathe!”, he quickly exists without checking if the police even bought it or not. He actually cares less a lot of other things are invading his brain now.

And he needs a discussion with his bapuji.

_2 weeks later……._

Vikrant’s funeral had passed in a whirlwind after the post-mortem. Karthik , himself was high on emotions at different levels in a day. Sometimes memories would crowd his thoughts, or sometimes the sense of anger he felt to those men, who did this animalistic work.

He had embraced Ammi as tight as he could during the fire, the fire burning that reflected in his tears. He had kept his head on Ammi’s lap and had cried hours apologising for anything and everything along with her. But she had only asked for a righteousness in back, and Karthik had promised it.

Aman was no less, it was exactly like Karthik, not believing at first, and when it had struck, all came down upon them. Though Karthik had not told him about the threats or Vikram’s investigation. It was a project that only Karthik will handle.

The couple did not leave each other’s side, the whole night. Afterwards, when Aman had gone to the kitchen to make some minimal food, he had broken down tearing.

Against Karthik’s chest he had sobbed again and again how Vikrant had loved him as hi own brother, how he loved his food, how he sought advice from him.

Karthik could only stroke his hair and whisper calm words in spite of his own inner turmoil.

And now two weeks later, Karthik find himself in the ugliest of web!

That diary, it is no ordinary, for Vikrant had written his every follow and lead in here, right from the money fraud to the god-knows-what black market circle or many more.

It is not tough for Karthik to understand that the criminal had searched for this diary rummaging through the whole house. But how the hell, did they know Vikrant had used a diary as his keeping.

It is a lot more to take in!? many question are so unanswered, everything is there, but still unachievable.

But it does not end there. He sat with Nishikant for a talk, and through the diary and the police’s help and other hackings they come across the most ugly side of politics, human trafficking, drug cartels, brothels and weapon dealings.

But everything has an origin.

And when Pradhan ji sat in front of them, the CM, the MLA, the Commissioners, he slowly spoke about the origin.

The Anonymous money tips!

It all started when Pradhan ji got his first anonymous call 7 years back, to put money under a certain bank account from the party fund. He of course refused, but then his daughter got involved with her leaked videos and rape threats. And to cement the threats, they did send her private photos only to leak them if the money is not transferred.

It was the fear of a middle class man who worked for a not-so-strong party then, for her daughter, that he kept quiet. And after that he had had sent his daughter to foreign away from all these.

The money he transferred was only once.

But what he did not know how the accounts got hacked and the money kept flowing out. Until it came out with the 35 crore scandal.

Vikrant had almost reached to the core, where these money went to feed the drug cartels and the weapon smuggling, how girls from colleges were kidnapped and never returned, or how they are sold to brothels or outside the country.

One such cartel, one of the biggest exist in Baliya, U.P.

“Commissioner, you know how to handle it, right?”

“yes Sir!”, he salutes at the CM.

“Bapu ji, Vikrant pointed that all cartels leads to the same man, but unknown. Baliya seemed as one of his best place. Here the cartel is more widespread. While some others are in Bihar, Assam, Coimbatore and god knows how many states.”

“it’s okay Karthik, with Vikrant’s murderer getting more solved, we shall be near this man more. Till then this plan needs to be more secret! A famine is going on out. This thing, the media should not know.”

“yes, sir!”

That day itself, two letters are sent namelessly to two addresses.

One to Shankar Tripathi, that contains photographs.

With an one line letter:

**Your son looks very happy in them!**

And another letter, to Karthik Singh in his office.

With some blue Calla Lilies kept on the paper.

Aman? Calla lilies are Aman’s favourite! But did Aman send him flowers? He will never do that.. much less to his office!

Karthik picks up the flowers, and unfolds the letter. One small photograph falls down.

Karthik and Aman’s picture, them kissing wearing gulal all over their body, just like the day they had on the day AIDP had won the elections.

The letter saying:

**You had a warning, now its time for a final goodbye...**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope it was not confusing! just two more chapters to go & all pieces will come back together. 
> 
> pls leave kudos and comments and the love you can give me..


	9. Let not Light See My Black & Deep Desires

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Let not Light See My Black & Deep Desires"  
> \- Macbeth; Act1 Scene4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: serious words on religion riots and brutalities.  
> i never intent to give any hate speech..

_When people talk to each other they never say what they mean. They something else, and you are expected to just know what they mean…_

They deceive, they cheat and you are just made into a fool, and they get revenge!

Throughout the ages, one of the primary wheel that has driven the mankind to either salvation or destruction is the motive of revenge. And in this fire, humans become feral with the cost of life, blood and pain.

A time comes in one’s life, when everything stops, things happen that you never expected. They feel cheated, hopeless.

Vikrant’s death is like that.

It is quite, but the soundless tune that flows through the surrounding, it’s suffocating.

It is sudden and irreversible.

Every time Karthik enters his room, the **_empty_** desk in front of his own, send chills down his spine. He feels a nausea hit him full force, clouds of memories strike him with a broke barrage of tears!

++++++++++++++++++

Situation in the nation’s capital is day by day worsening. People are devastated, their being is on fire inside and out. And sometimes, a simple spark can cause a wildfire. And in a place as busy as Delhi, in a situation of famine, what starts from where, nobody knows.

So Nishikant might have underestimated the situation.

What situation now?

Already pressed under the depressing thoughts of Vikrant’s demise, which is very personal, he somehow shrugged the news of a person didn’t hesitate to threw stone at a house of an another family.

It was a small issue. Compared to what Nishikant was going through just a day after the loss of his own. Cause no other thing will trigger you as the one which is _personal_ loss.

Only what he failed to understand is that, the two teams involved was one Hindu and another one is Muslim!

This fire was burning low, with occasional street fights, loot and harassment, that was it.

In between all these ‘not so important’ situation, Karthik was able to decipher the writings Vikrant had left in his small pocket diary, a large black market web was discovered in Baliya, and were slowly approaching for Vikrant’s murder investigation.

“of course, the underworld issue is related to Vikrant’s death, Mr. Rathe! Vikrant found things, or was about to find things that might expose a body of work.” Karthik sighs and leans back in his chair, “ The thing is, who might be this person who got to know about this. Bapu told, only he and Vikrant were involved in this work.”

The Cala lilies that came yesterday, is still fresh, kept in vase on his desk, the photograph kept in his drawer. His hand fumbling with the note that came with it.

The lilies might be beautiful, the photograph be the most beautiful scene in the world. But the note…..

The note is the shadiest thing, Karthik has ever come across. He might have discarded it. But what stopped him is the photograph itself.

As far as he remembered, on the day of election results, he and Aman had kissed in the solitude of the dark alley. They did not expect to get photographed.

An unknown fear had already jailed his heart… and what is this ‘warning’ and ‘final goodbye’ shit they are talking about?

“and about interrogation? Found any leads?”

“From what we have linked is that, that night, after leaving your home at precise 10:15 P.M., Alok had drove him to his house. They reached there around 20 mins later. At then at around 1 A.M he was killed. In between this time, there is no call records or any other communication”

Karthik huffs. He presses his lips together and asks, “as much as I trust Alok, who has been my bodyguard since the beginning, I have to ask about him too, Mr. Rathe”

Rathe nods his head, “yes, of course, Sir, your bodyguard Alok, he’s absolutely clean! We had suspected him too in the start. But after interrogating him and others in his locality, we confirmed his words.”

“and what did he say?”

“he, apparently, had dropped off Vikrant Sir at around 10:40 P.M., came back to this office to drop the office car at 11: 10, and went back home taking the bus at 11:20, arrived home at 10 minutes to 12 A.M.”

“and confirmation?”, Karthik asks.

“for one, we have talked to the office security guard who has seen him dropping the car and signing the register. And then we have seen his crumpled bus ticket. Third, we have talked to a junkie street man having a _paan_ -shop just before Alok’s home. And yes he did confirm all the timing!”

Karthik snorts at that, “Mr. Rathe, _paan ki dukan main kam karta hain wo_. How can you trust him?”

Rathe smiles at that, “these people are the most trusted in a police investigation. The one’s who lives on the streets, with nothing to lose…..”

“Sir! Sir! CM sir is calling us to his room…”

Karthik lifts his head. To see their clerk knocking on the door, “kya hua, Mahesh?”

The clerk looks absolutely scared white.

“jaldi chaliye Sir, it’s a very critical condition.”

Both the MLA and the Commissioner stands up, frown on their face.

Mahesh takes the cue, “Raj Nagar is in full chaos! Maar-daanga shuru ho gaya hain!”

As Karthik and Rathe enters the cabin, they here Nishikant ordering, “Impose section 144 now, and put RAF on the streets! The whole area should be surrounded, no one should go in, no one should come out. UNDERSTOOD?! Now go!”

Two of his secretariat took his signed order and left the room.

Karthik directly looks at the CM, “aisa hua kaise?”

Nishikant huffs, “bohut din o sehi ho raha tha, humne bas dhyan niya dia.”

“aur Rathe, tum?”

Rathe lowers his head, “khabar toh thi sir, but we got no orders from the higher authority..”

Karthik looks at their informer who is standing at the corner of their room. News channel broadcasting the headlines, the voices mingling in the background.

He asks, “and casualties?”

The informer answers, “right now, we can only say the entire bridge area is on fire, the houses are burning, and many of them are really wounded and killed too.. on both side of the communities..”

“wait, wait… you said ‘bridge area?”

Karthik turns to his bapuji, “the bridge which we constructed? How’s this happening? How can that bridge be the issue?”

“sorry of the interruption, sir”, the informer says. Nishikant nods and palms his face, as the man continues.

“the bridge, somehow tends divides the slum into Hindu and Muslim sections with a very small section of the Sikh..”

“but when we drafted the bridge plan, I remember all the communities stayed mixed..”, Karthik frowns.

“yes, sir! You did. It came to their instinct to border their own territory. Hindus took the upper left part of the bridge, and the rest the Muslims stayed. The 4-5 Sikh families stayed in variation.”

The MLA, folds his arms as one after another rocks fall on him, “and how’s that a problem now?”

“the Famine, Karthik?”, Nishikant says, his voice croaks, “the grains which we took from the neighbouring states to distribute, one part went to the left side sooner. The other part is delivered late, repeatedly, over the last 2 weeks. And many of the rations didn’t even reach..”

“but how?”

“they are seized in the highway!”, the informer says, “and we believe the opponent party’s men, Swadesh Alliance ke log yeh kar rahe hain!”

Karthik straightens up!

_Shankar Tripathi…_

Of course, only he can do these cheap works!

“aur yeh baat, hume pata nahi tha? Huh?”, Karthik asks with a raised voice.

“the men all have scattered, we can’t locate them now. Yes, we had our sources, par jaike ki humne kaha, we did not look deep in the matter, we’re to tangled with Vikrant’s…….”

“DON’T BRING VIKRANT IN THIS MATTER, BAPU!”, Karthik deadpans.

“one section thinks the government is deceiving them… and they won’t understand the real…”

As Nishikant talks, Karthik sees on the TV, as reporters scramble, men, women, child, laid bloodied on the streets, the military running everywhere…. The houses continued to burn, black smoke engulfed the blue, hot sky..

It is a nightmare Karthik believes he’s going through.

Vikrant’s death, the famine, and now this riot… and that shady letter..

Is this the final warning, the letter speaks of..

Or is there more?

And Aman?

The letter did involve a bunch of Cala Lilies…

Karthik rushes back to his office to make some calls. His heart stopped when the intercom said Aman’s phone is switched off.

He calls Ravi, then..

“R-Ravi! Mein Kar—"

“Karthik? Aman ran away from the house….”

****

****

**_“From the deepest desire, often comes the deadliest hate.”_ **

_\-- **Socrates**_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay tuned for the next chap, as what is the total scenario, EACH & EVERY character from the past, who are they, who talks with Shankar, and who is the criminal, how Vikrant got involved.. all will be in the next chapter....
> 
>   
> comment down below, say ur opinion, and pls don't forget to leave kudos!


	10. I’m a Man More Sinned against the Sinning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I’m a Man More Sinned against the Sinning"  
> \- King Lear; Act3 Scene4
> 
> previous chapter recap:
> 
> Karthik mourns Vikrant's death. He discusses the leads with Police Commissioner Rathe all the alibis of the suspects. he ponders over the letter that is sent to him along with the Cala Lilies, which are Aman's favourite. but they hear a riot has started centering the bridge at Raj Nagar, as the truck loaded with grains is obstructed wt the highway by the opposition party. he thinks about Aman's safety. But on calling Ravi, he comes to know Aman has ran away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! it's been a while isn't it? *nervous chuckle* I'm sorry! really, trully. I wanted to update early, but my family is not going through a good time, my relatives got infected by the virus, it was a total chaos..now we are trying to go back to our daily lives. 
> 
> To compensate that, I made this chapter really long, instead of splitting it into two.
> 
> this chapter is going to be dark. All the warnings are in the tags.. read the darkest ones.  
> so if you are not comfortable reading it... please don't!

**“Your son looks very happy in them!”**

Shankar just eyed widely at the letter and the photographs in his hands.

15 photographs, perfectly clicked, a hint of sepia tone in them, yet very clear.

His Son, his Aman is there in the photographs. He looks so happy, eyes squeezed in joy or comfort.

Shankar Tripathi still can wrap his head around the new discovery.

And as if on cue, his son comes down the chair, jumping at the steps.

“Ma! Where’s my glass of milk tonight”

Yes it is an old habit the Aman has since he was 10. And he prefers to continue it.

Shankar sees his son passing by his room, in shorts and a tee, looking as cuddly as always. And suddenly all his surprise melts into an anger of betrayal. 

So he calls, “Aman, abhi ki abhi idhaar aao”. Unconsciously, his voice came rougher than usual.

Few moments later, Aman peeks from the door, with the glass of milk in his hand. “ji papa, you called me?”

“come here now!”

Frowning a little bit, as Aman enters the rooms close to his papa, his face is suddenly thrashed with many photographs. And he heard his papa scream.

“WHAT ARE THESE?”

Immense confusion marred Aman’s face. He instantly looks down to see a number of photographs scattered on the ground.

The glass in his hand falls, the milk spills everywhere..

The ribs squeezes around his lungs and heart..

The brain short-circuited, his façade expressionless!

For there lay, the photographs, which his father threw, showing his close intimate relation with Karthik…..

Some of them are them hugging, some holding hands, them shopping around, and most of them are kissing.

And one, particularly one, them laying naked under a sheet on a bed!

Never in his life, Aman felt so violated. Tears engulf his eyes with hazy drops as he immediately to take away the pictures. Its so embarrassing for his father to see his son’s intimate details of his life. Recovering the photographs as soon as possible, he stands up…

And then it hit’s like boulders!

His father has actually seen him with none other than Karthik Singh, the name, let alone the person, considered to be a sin in the household.

“look at me, Aman!”, Shankar’s voice is icily cold as his son refuses to meet his eyes.

“I SAID, LOOK AT ME!”, he screams, and in a moment, Aman’s face falls on the other side. A print of five fingers blooms on his left cheeks.

More tears rushes in like flood. For the first time ever, his father has held up his hands against him.

Aman chokes on his tears, “pa—papa!”

“DON’T CALL ME, PAPA!”, Shankar snarls, “You disgust me!”

“kya hua—“, Sunaina comes at the door, but is instantly shut down by his husband.

“tum beech mein maat aao Sunaina!”, his wife stands still at the door, confused and comprehending the situation.

Aman’s words jumble up, unclear in his mouth, howling and crying, “you know me, papa! You know I’m gay”

“and I never had a problem with that!”, Shankar clutches a fist of his hair, and pulls him close, “but Karthik Singh?”, he spats the name in his mouth.

“KARTHIK SINGH?! How dare you to be with him?”

Aman realises his worst fear is about to begin, the moment the two of them was waiting for years.

Aman has nothing to do now, in his father’s clutches, he’s just nothing more than a puppet now.

“par papa, hum pyaar karte hain unse!”

“And I don’t fucking care! He and his whole party is our rival!”, he throws his son from his grip, “we have nothing but a relation of blood and violence”

As Aman crooks oh his cry, his father bends over him on the floor, “You disgust me, Aman! And Karthik has to die!”

Aman shrieks at the words, “n-no, papa!”

“He has to die, for looking at you, for working under Nishikant, for snatching our power from the rule, and I can’t let you shame our family like this!”

Suddenly Shankar’s eyes soften, he rubs his palms against Aman’s cheeks, “ _Aur koi bhi ho saakta tha_ Aman, but not Karthik Singh on my watch. He has put his hands on all of my family.”

Sunaina sobs silently at the distance, “ _suniye ji, usse chor dijiye!”_

_“bas ho gaya Sunaina, usne humse humara gaddi cheena hain…. Iss baar nahi. Yeh Rajnagri Delhi humara hain, aur humesha rahega.”_

With that, Shankar leaves the room, and immediately Sunaina, comes to hug his son in her bosom. Aman howls into a cry hugging her, “but he loves me so much Ma, he makes me happy!”

She consoles her son, combing his silky hair with her long fingers, “sometimes we have to sacrifice the happiness—”

“not Karthik, ma! I love him too much, if I leave him, I will kill myself, and I’m too coward to do that!”

He entangles himself from his mother and rushes towards the main door, “I can’t let him get harmed for me”

“AMAN! AMAN!! Come back now”, Sunaina screams behind him. But her old legs cannot catch up.

She sees, Aman push behind the few securities and ran out of the door, even Ravi, who had just come in to the hallway.

He falls on the marble floor losing his balance and spraining his one ankle, “what’s happening?” he asks in with utter confusion.

“Ravi! Stop him, now! Ask later”

Ravi instantly orders his fellow security personnel to go after Aman, they can catch Aman easily on the road, in this night hour.

………………………………………………………………………….

“what the fuck do you mean, you cannot find him on the road?”, Ravi screams at the security, “did he just evaporated or what?”

“really, sir, he wasn’t anywhere, nor in an alley neither is any other place. He’s nowhere!”

“he must be somewhere! FIND HIM, IDIOTS!”

On the sofa, Champa holds Sunaina who is crying incessantly for hours, since Aman just barged out of the house, it’s been three hours already. Shankar sat there with palms clutching his forehead. Chaman and Keshav are busy making phone calls for all the security and investigation details.

The world just shifted in a matter of hours. Within crying and mystery left to solve, the world always revolves around. Life goes on. We forget our past deeds, forgetting that whom we are inflicting pain upon, they have also a family of their own.

And here’s the irony.

We know the wealth of water until the well is dry.

The father deeply regrets his words when after five hours, there is not a single sign of where his son could be.

They had thought, that Aman could run to Karthik’s place, but none of his leads go there!

And of course all the ill thoughts come to their mind……. And it’s right in every way!

………………………………………………………………..

“R-Ravi! Mei Kar—"

“Karthik? Aman ran away from the house….”, Ravi says at once into the phone. Ravi was going to call him anyway, and there is no point is delaying.

Ravi is really surprised when he is met with the sudden silence at the other end. He had at least expected a screeching “ **WHAT?!** ”

So much so that he thinks the call is dead, “hello? Karthik? you still—”

“ _wo mere saath_ _nahi hain_ ”, the voice is unexpectedly low and cold.

“I know that Karthik, so we are trying---”

“THEN WHERE THE FUCK IS AMAN?”

Of course, he’s Karthik Singh, he _has_ to shout.

“you are his damn bodyguard, you **should** be with him.. ALL THE FUCKING TIME!”

Ravi stands there, phone in hand, digesting all the words, cause he knows deserves this, and now to find Aman, they need Karthik’s help more than anyone.

“ _sun, sun_ Karthik, no one saw this coming, okay?” Shankar snaps his head at Ravi as he speaks in to the phone with the _certain_ name being called. “Aman just ran outside of the house before we could do anything..”

“ab kya? He’s gone missing just like that?”

Ravi understands the frustration building up in Karthik. So he does the sanest thing possible.

“come to the Tripathi’s! you can help us here”

“I would have done that any way”

With that the call ends.

As Ravi turns back to face the family, he meets with the shocking faces of the family members. Especially Shankar Tripathi whose face is telling that someone has set cats and mice all around the house.

Ravi forms a thin lip, “ _kuch maat kahiye_ , Sir. Karthik knows your son, more than Aman knows himself”

With those words , the bodyguard goes to pick up the photographs, that had fell from Aman’s hand before.

Yes, the photographs really are a bit too revealing.

But it shows exactly how Karthik and Aman are so beautiful together.

Ravi just wishes for the safety of the two lovers.

………………………………………………………………………

It does not take a genius man to understand that the whole disappearance of Aman is absolutely related with the threat letter Karthik had received yesterday. But How?

Aman had run away from the house in the middle of the night, hasn’t come to him, and now is missing.

Karthik’s whole body is screaming, because for the first time in his life he feels…….

_Lost……_

Everything is falling apart, and without knowing that Aman is safe (right now, it’s too much to ask), at least be _alive,_ is the only thing Karthik wishes for.

In the distant, he can hear Nishikant entering his room with Rathe in tow.

Without any question being asked he directly stated, “Aman is missing”

A sudden grim locks on the CM’s face, his lips pursed in to a thin line. He just takes the bottle of water and gives to his protégé, “drink up”.

Karthik does as he is told, his brain whirring in different direction, “he’s kidnapped, without a doubt”

“aisa soch kyun?”

Karthik produces the threat letter to Nishikant, and clearly sees how his godfather is placing all the pieces of the puzzle.

Karthik adds, “this came yesterday, just a few hours after we solved with the Baliya case.”

Rathe takes the letter as well the photograph from the CM.

His eyes do go big after seeing the photo, “Yeh Shankar Tripathi ka beta hain na?”

_damn! This is news! The Tripathi Son and Karthik Singh KISSING!!_

While Karthik blushes and realises, that their relation might not be hidden anymore, he also comes to the conclusion, _everything be damned. I have to save Aman._

“before you turn this news into a gossip scandal, Mr. Rathe”, Nishikant speaks vibrating everyone for the moment, “I must say, that the Baliya raid and this letter are related. Otherwise there is no reason to send it as a threat. And now Aman’s disappearance………..”, the CM sighs.

“something big is relating all these underneath. Not to mention Vikrant’s murder!”, Karthik tightens his jaws, “Call Chowdhury right now, we have to drive to the Tripathi’s, and Alok too, a bodyguard is needed tonight”

Nishikant stands up and places a hand on his shoulder, “talk to the parents and tell the I will help too, with all the investigation. Rathe will go with you, and I will despatch my special agents.” With a final huff, the father figure says, “and stay safe!”

Karthik nods, “Ji bapuji!”

The young MLA comes out of the office, and sees only Chowdhury waiting.

“Arrey Alok kaha hain?”

“uska time shift aaj raat ke liye khatam ho gaya hain chote sahab. Aur tabiyat bhi kharab hain, 103 bukhar hain, is liye ghar chala gaya!”

“thik hain, to phir Mehboob?”, Karthik asks as he gets into the car.

Chowdhury huffs, “kya bole Chote Sahab! Riot chal raha hain, waha hain!”

Perceiving the situation, Rathe speaks, “don’t be tensed Sir, the police Jeep is right behind”

“ok, then, Rathe! And keep an eye on the roads, Aman might be anywhere”

“right Sir”, Rathe gives a tight Salute.

“Mehboob danga-hungama mein jaa kar kya karega!” Karthik clicks his tongue and ask the question to no one.

……………………………………………………..

The roads of Delhi did not speak out to Karthik that night. The sky is unnaturally black, suggesting impending doom, as Karthik thought. A mystical tune flew around his ears and a constant touch caressing his shoulders.

As his car passes the streets, the tune heavily came to sound as the exact voice of Aman calling for help. A cry, screeches and dragging of nail on the floor………………….

Before Karthik can feel more, he sees Ravi standing at the Tripathi entrance himself. It is for his smooth entry, Karthik realises.

He at once comes out of the car and jumped at Ravi, “Aman ka pata chala?”

Ravi just hangs his head low.

Karthik and Ravi began walking towards the main house, “any reason you guessed why Aman ran away, first hand?”

Ravi gives a small sigh, “apparently Sir found about you two”

Karthik eyes almost bulged out.

“yes! He got these photographs of you and Aman… and hell ensued”

“wait wait..”, Karthik stops mid track, “you said photographs?”

The two men, along with the police team comes inside the house, an eerie atmosphere surrounding it! Karthik immediately spots Shankar Tripathi sitting on the sofa.

Their expressions are almost the same, with the look of a hawk, a countenance of distaste, but together brought together by one person, Aman Tripathi.

Karthik knew, Aman would do something great. The simple fact that he gained entry in the Tripathi household without the risk of getting killed is actually phenomenal.

_But surely Karthik didn’t agree with the situation involved._

Shankar comes to stand in front of him and despite the situation, Karthik smirks yet with an angry vibe, “pata nahi tha Tripathi Sir, ki aapse aise waqt par mulakat hogi”

Shankar lowers his eyes.

_All this has costed his dear son. He can lose no more._

“just help me find my son…..”

“and my lover”

……………………………………………………….

The officers present at the mansion had lined up before Rathe. He is the State Commissioner after all. Nishikant’s special agents had also arrived and quickly came to actions, with all call records and street camera footages.

As much as it was embarrassing for Karthik to see the intimate photographs, he can’t but help but notice the same photograph of the election day.

Rathe asks, “how you got these photographs?”

“yesterday, at night time” Shankar says in a low, deep voice.

Karthik perks up, “means they are delivered to us at the same time……. Anything else? Perhaps flowers, or a letter”

Shankar gives an amazed look, “yeah.. a letter came too” and at once goes into his room, only to bring out a piece of paper.

Karthik’s heart stops for a bit! The same red ink, the same unfashionable, hurried words, written on a costly stationary paper….. it’s the same!

The sender is the same.

Of course it has to be. Karthik voices his reasons.

“it’s very likely, that someone who took the pictures is very closely related to the writer of the letter. Most probably they work for the same man! Maybe the head of the whole conspiracy.”

One of the agents asks, “even if it is true, then how can we relate it with the Baliya case? Or the whole web, Vikrant Sir left for us? The only thing that attaches is that the uncover of the Baliya raid and the letters was send on the same day, with only a few hours apart”

Shankar is at total lost with all the ‘Baliya raid’, ‘letters’, everything. He never knew what is costing all the pain, the pain of losing his son.

Karthik stares deeply at the clock on the wall, ticking way past midnight, not a single news, on where Aman could be found, “I don’t know”

His brain is jammed, anxiety level reaching it’s peak. When Ravi touches his shoulder, “go and take in some air outside.. It will help thinking..”

Karthik nods and goes out.

The chill wind blowing past his hair ruffling it, somewhat serenaded him, though his constantly praying for Aman, “stay safe”, chanting it like it is the new mantra of his life!

He kicks a pebble on the courtyard, thinking all the possibilities of how the Baliya case can be related to the letters!

All things are going so disastrous.

Judging by the photos, someone very intimate to the them, has clicked it, specially with the rooftop pictures and the bedroom pictures.

The gradual sweeping away of money from the party account.

Vikrant’s murder.

The famine, the truck loaded with food obstructed at the highway.

The riot that started.

And now, Aman gone total missing.

Karthik’s every part screaming at him, “ _you are a loser, you can’t even save your lover……_

_You are going to lose him too…….._

_Just like your Ma and sister…..”_

**NO!!!**

Karthik can’t let that happen. Tear gushes out his eyes at his own failure. His knees give in as he stumbles upon the gravel path leading to the main door along the courtyard.

He heaves and breathe, choking on the saliva in his throat. He is almost sure, that he will run on feet and search every corner of Delhi and leave no stone unturned to find Aman.

He is about to do so.

Until his phone rings breaks his emotion.

Karthik wipes his tears, and take the phone out. Its past midnight, who the hell shall call him now.

_An Unknown Number._

No. Not Bapuji. All his numbers are saved.

Karthik picks it up, nonetheless.

“Ka—Karthik?!”

It’s distinct. The voice is as distinct as black is on white. And Karthik can identify it anywhere. Barrels of pressed emotions floods in him. All his logical reasonings flying away.

“Aman? AMAN!!!”, he screams into the phone, “babu, where are you? Aman? Talk to me!!”

“Now, now! Enough talk”, it’s a new voice, Karthik immediately stops. In the distance he can here Aman saying, “baat karne do!” it’s an angry, desperate plea.

“shh! Pehle mein, aur phir naseeb hua, toh phir tumhara” and a sinister laugh.

“WHO? WHO IS IT?”, Karthik desperately talks in to the phone.

“Mahashay, rukiye, itni jaldi kya hain” a hint of amusement, sarcasm, all mixed together.

“Give the phone to Aman”, Karthik screams.

“nah! Not now!”, comes the easy, silky voice, “actually why don’t you come to visit him”

And suddenly the voice turns into a horror, blasphemous voice.

“ **Only you** , samajh gaye na? warna…” And Karthik hears a screeching voice Aman through the comm.

“Aman ko haat bhi maat lagana”, he shouts, yet panics, “mein ata hu, bol kaha jana hain?”

He gets an address, “waha se, koi lene ayega tujhe”

“par tu hain kaun?”

“kya Sir? Abhi tak nahi Samjhe?” and with another sinister laugh, the call goes off.

Karthik just stared at the phone, “Sir?”

_Who calls me Sir?_

And even before thinking anything, he legs carries him out of the mansion.

“Aman, I am coming! Please be safe”

He reaches the neighbourhood by a taxi, whom he had told to drop him off on the main road. Karthik walks further into the area, the ratty streets overlapping like veins and nerves. He doesn’t think about the sixes and sevens, cause when it comes to Aman’s security, Karthik is going to breach them all!

He might not had even reached the designated place, when a sudden force hits him behind.

And then all is dark like the deep undersea waters.

……………………………………………………………………….

“Things started to go downhill with the misplacement of the fund”, Nishikant speaks over through the video call in the Tripathi mansion.

Rathe asks Shankar, “waise sir, aapko kya laagta hain, who might have sent those pictures and the letters?”

The father drowns his shoulders, “I don’t know, I really don’t know?”

“the words of the letter, ever seem familiar?”

“N-No.. no”

“anyone mysterious who is very curious about your son?”

“not that I know of”, tears spilled from Shankar’s eyes.

And then Ravi, having been silent for a long time, asks, “sir? You know someone, who is related to Baliya, U.P.? maybe, who someone stays there, or works there?”

While everyone is shocked as why Ravi would ask such a question to Shankar, who (apparently) has no connection to the Vikrant cum Baliya case, it put Shankar to a tight spot.

Personally he has never been to Baliya, other than for Election meetings and all, “ha.. matlab elections ke liye to gaye the bohut bar…”

“no, any other person, relating to Baliya?”

It’s true, Shankar has heard many a times before about the place, from other people. He searches through the brain…

“anyone doing any sort of mafia works there, you might have heard during your Seat?”, Ravi pushes.

Rathe is beyond surprised, “Mr. Ravi? Why are you aski—”

“Actually, yes!”

Rathe stops midway.

And everyone turns to see Shankar, pale and horrified, his hand shaking, lips trembling, eyes unfocused.

“you know someone?”

Yes. Shankar knows someone, who is **related** to Baliya, and at the same time very curious about his son, Aman.

“kaun? Kaun hain wo?”

Shankar shifts his gaze to Nishikant on the video call in the laptop. His eyes trying to convey abundant apologies.

Rathe speaks, “kaun hain wo Sir?”

Shankar opens his mouth.

And says the name.

…………………………………………………………

Karthik opens his eyes blearily. The hot yellow bulbs hitting his eyes first. In the distance he hears _someone_ calling his name.

He groans and tries to shift. His head still feels fuzzy.

_Karthik?_

_Karthik? Please wake up!_

_Karthik?_

He focuses his eye lids in the front, and suddenly he’s wide awake.

“Aman?”, Karthik, gets up, or at least tries to.

And then he realises he is pinned down by two muscled guys underneath. “leave me” he struggles, but the holds become tighter.

And Karthik feels a cold metal touching his nape.

A revolver.

He looks up at Aman. His beautiful face all red and exhausted, hair unkempt, a deep gash already wounded on his throat, tears running wildly, his hands and legs, marred with wounds and marks.

“ka—Karthik?” his voice chokes on his tears.

“ha babu, I’m here, don’t cry”, he tries his best to control his tears and console his love from afar.

“kya bol rahe hain, Sir? Abhi to bas shuru hua hain? There’s a whole bunch of crying involved now!” and the young lover sees a man, coming up from behind Aman.

Karthik is shocked, his expression says it all. Never in his entire life he got this surprised. He feels like he’s electrocuted.

“tum?”

……………………………………………………………………

The security at the main entrance had come forwards, when the people inside noticed, Karthik is also not present.

“ _Karthik Sir phone pe bohut cheenkh rahe tho, aur achanak se taxi pakad kar chale gey.”_

_“roka kyun nahi unko?”_ Ravi is beyond annoyed _._

_“kaise rokhte sir. Kaunse kam pe ja rahe hain, kya malum?”,_ the security tries to look as modest and innocent as _he could._

_“thik hain, kaha geya hain, taxi driver ko kya bola, suna tumne?”_

He thinks for a while and says, “ha..ji.. koi 56 Lower Chandni street bol rahe the…….”

………………………………………………………………………...

Karthik pathetically sees as the same person is hauntingly looking at him, from behind Aman. He keeps his eyes fixed upon Karthik and stoops down to give a kitten lick on Aman’s exposed neck. Aman shivers underneath him.

“YOU FUCKER STAY AWAY FROM HIM”

A deafening laughter echoes through the den.

…………………………………………………………………………..

Shankar experiences his embarrassment, his face clasped in his palm, “Alokchandra Sekhar works for me, as an informer, planner, whatever you want to say…”

“this Sekhar, isn’t he a mafia underworld lord”, Rathe speaks up after a long time. He comes forward and seats in front him.

“few years ago, he was active in human trafficking across U.P and Assam”

Shankar huffs, “yes! That’s him. And he used to ask about my son, very often.”

To be honest no one is really surprised why the ex-CM knows this mafia. Every political leader knows one or two. At least.

“an explanation awaits Mr. Tripathi.”

Shankar swallows and starts, “I have associated with Shekar for many decades. He carried on his works, drugs, weapon handling, human trafficking, brothels, assassinations, everything one can think of and I protected him. In return he fed me money. Huge sum of money.”

“from our party fund?”, Nishikant asks coldly.

Shankar looks away, “Yes!”

“from AIDP? Won’t that be tough for him to sneak in an another party bank accounts?” Ravi enquires.

“unless he works within the party”, Rathe smoothly answers.

From the side of the room, a junior officer working under Rathe speaks up, “Sir, the Address the security told us, 56 Lower Chandni Street, we know it. Wo Vikrant Murder case mein tha na?”

Rathe perks up, surprised, “you are right Pranav ! Wait! Umm…. Isn’t that the address of Karthik Sir’s bodyguard, Alok?

ALOK?!”

Doom spreads over the entire place.

………………………………………………………………..

“ALOK? What are you doing?”, Karthik desperately tries to break away from his bondage, as he sees Alok dragging a knife over Aman shirt, skilfully cutting it.

Aman tears flows horridly, his voice screaming than ever.

Alok sinisterly just states, “bribing a street pan wala in lakhs to give false alibi, in not a tough job”

…………………………………………………………………. 

“but isn’t he Alok Nandan Puskar?”, Ravi tells.

“I helped him to get a new identity”, Shankar says low, “but he insisted to keep his first name as it is. I don’t know why.”

Nishikant in the background, has decided he will come over. He can’t let things slide just from a video call.

“he got in to AIDP, as Karthik Singh’s bodyguard and started working from there.”

And Rathe concludes, “Chandra Sekhar turned into Nandan Puskar. Shankar Tripathi implanted him there to hack money and information from the party in lieu of protection. But suddenly some anonymous tips got miscalculated and Pradhan found them.

Under threat, though he had transferred money only once, but then the big 35 crore scandal comes out. Vikrant got appointed in the secret investigation, he reached a deep core. Too deep, that he has to get removed.

And hence the murder.”

“but Alok is not in the suspect list!”, Nishikant says.

“yes, someone working under him might have done the murder or unless, some one has given him wrong alibi for him.”

“We have seen his signature on the departure register, and his return bus ticket.”, Pranav says.

“that leaves us to the alibi the Paan-wala gave!”, Rathe’s eyes bulges, “Damn! He’s bribed.” He quickly stands up. “Pranav find that paan-wala, he must know everything!”

…………………………………………………………………

“please leave me.. please”, Aman begs the man that has kidnapped him.

Karthik just sat there watching horridly as Alok, shreds his lover’s shirt ever so slowly. To think the worst he know, where this man is going.

But he’s shackled, helpless, with a gun pointed at his brain, with a knife tracing on Aman’s body.

_Please god! Save him. Don’t let the man do it. I can see it._

“Baliya encounter mein jo kiya na, accha nahi kiya! You destroyed the whole main den. And I had to take revenge.”

Karthik shouts, “why, why are you doing this?”

The mafia lord ignores him, “I had to kill of Vikrant too. Bohut nazdik aa gaya tha mera! Aur jo kaha maine, it takes very little to feed a street junkie.”

Tears spilled out of Karthik, “stop this, stop this right now. We did nothing wrong to you. Vikrant is the most innocent one here”

“MY DAUGHTER WAS INNOCENT TOO!” Alok screams, his eyes red. With one pulls, he tears away Aman’s already shredded shirt.

“but yes, you people are innocent.”, he tilts Aman’s face aside and drags his tongue all along the column of his exposed throat. “but you have to pay for what his father did.”

“what?! Please leave Aman out of all these..”

“I said it too to save my daughter, but nothing happened. Sometimes, children has to pay, for what parents do, isn’t it?” Alok looks at a confused Karthik.

“you have many questions, don’t you? Let me tell you a story. You may find answers.” He smirks and pulls Aman into his lap while he sits on the floor.

“no..no look at us, don’t turn your head”

“please leave me”, Aman whines.

“oh! You poor doll, already begging aren’t you”, the man chuckles, “but let me tell you lover a story first, then shall show him somethings later on…

Singh! If you ever could go out of here, then don’t forget to ask Tripathi what history he had with Nishikant. Or what led to have such a huge feud between the two party. All I can say is that my daughter and my family just got grinded in between it. And _in front of my eyes, I saw my family being raped and burnt in fire to die_. My daughter was crying for me, screaming and bleeding, my wife half unconscious, ready to take death” Alok’s voice is now inhumane.

**_From the deepest desire, often comes the deadliest hate._ **

_The world is cruel, and what makes it more is the desire of revenge. The moon is engulfed into an eclipse, the whole earth is left behind in a dark web of blood and vengeance, exposing the harsh realities humans are exposed to everyday._

_And truly a human can go at any length, when they are stripped of their loved ones, without a reason, without a crime._

“I just took advantage of the rivalry. It took me years to come here today. You in front of me, sitting helpless, and the son of the ex- CM squirming on my lap.” Alok laughs hysterically,

“Vikrant was really innocent. He was never on my list. But when I found out he is the **most** serious threat to my plans, me building up an entire clan, just to get it destroyed like that! Hell no! thus he met with his fate. **Death.** But you two people got too much engrossed in his murder. Found the threat letter even. I know, they will find me, but I won’t get it off that easily.

So I had to distract you with the riot! Even I suggested Tripathi that. To make an issue of the bridge you made and cause a riot. But that Oldie is a real time idiot and you turned out to be the smart one.. and now you are here!

SO PAY FOR IT! ALL THE FUCKING THINGS YOUR PARENTS DID!”

“ **NOOOOO!!!”,** Karthik screams, tears running freely, his eyes burning red.

Alok throws Aman on the cold hard floor on his chest, his hands tied behind his back.

“Karthik! KARTHIK SAVE ME!” Aman voice was getting out, face all red.

“cry you fucking whore! My wife begged too”, Alok pulls up his hips and strips down his pants to leave him fully naked.

“AMAN!!” Karthik thrashes wildly, he can’t see his lover getting raped in front of his eyes, while he can’t do anything, “PLEASE LEAVE HIM! PLEASE!”

“cry all you want, Singh! I love recreating this scene that happened all those years ago. I have waited for this for way too long”

He takes one last look at Aman’s entrance.

Karthik opted for looking away in his tears, and begged god to make him deaf so that he can’t hear Aman screaming, but his captors forces his face in the front and he horridly watches the vicious man enter forcefully into his lover.

Aman’s face showed all the shame and embarrasemnt as he lock his eyes with Karthik. His tears came down again. This time as the tears of shame.

“NO..NO.. Singh.. look at your doll! Look at how I tear him apart. How are you feeling, whore?” alok rubs along his exposed back.

And Karthik knows other things to do, “look at me, Aman.” He speaks soothingly, yet his voice breaking “I am right here, I love you, okay. We will go through this together!”

Aman chokes, feeling every unwanted thrust to his guts. He feels horrendous, he feels like an insect, “I.. I ha-hate it Karthik. I hate myself”

“no.. no.. love”, Karthik feels a jerk from his captors, “listen to me, you are beautiful, you are unique. I love you.. only you…” he can see, Amna is shutting down his words.

He can see Aman seeping in pathetic feelings with every thrust. The dirty hands hovering all over his smooth body as it snapped the belly chain and threw it at the father corner in the room.

“take, take it, you slut! Take it as my 10 years daughter took it.” Alok’s voice surprisingly was suddenly vulnerable. As if he was living those moments again.

Aman, beneath him, writhes with the pain and torture. He can hear Karthik talking to him, speaking him with loved words.

But what is all that for. He’s tied down, his every part of the body is violated.

He is a disgust, a wretch.

He just sobs harder.

His eyes on his lover lose focus, he sees Karthik cry too out of desperation.

He tries to keep the feeling of the foreign hand touching every part of his body, all his sensitive spots.

“oh! Now you are going to love it”, he hears the maniac saying. And then he feels him pinching at the bottom of his waist and sucking at the base of his ears.

Aman moans as the teeth grazed his nape.

“told you! You slut, you are going to love it.” and the bastard speeds up his thrust, his victim’s hole reddens, as white transparent liquid with a mixture of blood drips along his thigh.

Aman, wide eyed, looked on at Karthik in front of him. Realisation dawns on him.

_He moaned… he moaned for this bastard._

_In front of his lover.._

All his self worth crashes to the lowest point. He couldn’t even look at Karthik.

How can he moan at that?

_He’s not liking it! he hates it! he hates himself._

“I a-am s-sor-sorry”, he mewls to Karthik, “I am sorry!”, he chokes. He wants to die.

He hears a distant voice reaching out to him.

“no, no, love. You have nothing to be sorry. It’s okay. I love you. You are perfect….”

_I am not!_

“you are perfect, baby! You are the purest pearl in the ocean…..”

_I am disgusting, I am….._

He is himself shocked, again as he moans as he feels hands stimulating his nipples, and a pressure at the base of his thighs.

“spying on you two for photographs has taught me a lot of things about you, Aman Tripathi”

Aman wants to cry, but his bodily responses to the pleasure he is feeling, despite what his heart and mind says, overtakes him.

Looking at Karthik, rather than crying, he produces a deep moan and a sigh with every thrust. He can see Karthik looking at him in horror, he want the ground to crack open and swallow him, but the hormonal responses of pleasure takes him in.

“ka—Karthik?”

“yes! Yes! I’m here baby! I’m always here for you. I love you… you are the best.. you are an angel!”

_I am not….._

_I’m too dirty……_

_I’m a slut, that can feel pleasure from anyone……_

_I’m disgusting….._

_I don’t deserved to be loved……_

He’s violently jerked up as, as the brute pulls his head with his hair, “take my everything, slut. I’m going to taint you, even from the insides, I’m always going to be in you……….”

“no.. no… please,” Aman already sanities unconscious, and he never wants is the brute’s cum in him, “please not inside me..”

“yes bitch! Take everything I give you. But first you will come for me.” The bastard pulls his head near his mouth, “not only for your lover, you will come for me too, you slut!”

“Aman.. I love you okay”, Aman finds Karthik’s voice, “you are beautiful and no one can take away that. I am always going to be yours. You are perfect…..”

Aman senses a warmth pooling at his belly. The same Karthik makes him feel.

“Yes, Aman, you’re beautiful, I will make love to you, you deserved to be worshipped. You are so special…”

Aman senses tears in his eyes..

What is happening to him? Karthik is speaking so sweetly to him, then why he is hating it. why does he hate himself and the whole feeling.

He feels hotness shoot through his body, as he droops down with a final deep gasp, while his inside is taken over by a foreign hotness…….. something so violating……. So disgusting…… something that shows how exactly a shameless slut he is…

He doesn’t deserve to live.

And as if to speak his brain, the brute says, “look at you slut, taking everything I give you.. now lick me clean…”, he takes Aman’s face and forces his mouth on his dick and violently throats him. Aman gags around him, unable to breathe and unable to think.

_“I saw my family get destroyed in front of me, and I feel no shame in doing it to you….. I have lived long enough to feel remorse…..”_ Alok says at last, as he cums in Aman’s throat. And finally throws him to the floor.. all used up!

“huh! Look at you… oozing my fluid out of every whole of your body, you slut!”

Karthik hear the whole den laughing up.

While Aman lays there, all scratched and bloodied, exhausted and used.

He was already crying angry tears, even though he spoke out words of reassurance, trying to remind Aman, he will love him always.

In front of him, he sees Aman slowly loosing focus and breathe.

“No.. wake up, Aman.. Wake up.. I love you.. I’m waiting…”

Aman’s eyes began to droop, an expression of disgust on his face, tears of shame marring him.

Karthik hears him mewl, “I’m sorry….”.. and gradually closing his eyes.

Karthik lost it.

His sanity is leaving his brain. The world is falling apart. The white moon disappearing in to a red one. Unknown footsteps walks around the house.

Darkness waits for them all.

Karthik detaches his senses from everything.

He doesn’t feel it, when his captor’s hold was gone.

He just find himself crawling to the lifeless body of his lover on the cold hard floor. Blood and fluid pooled around him.

He makes a last effort of opening his shirt and cover Aman’s body around it. And gathers the soft body in his arms. Crying wildly he rest his chin on Aman’s head, swaying their body together.

“come back to me, Aman! I NEED YOU!”

The whole sky breaks in to cry with dark clouds that night…….

**_“Death waits for us all in Samarra. But can Samarra be avoided?”_ **

**_\--Appointment in Samarra; John O’Hara_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hate me all you want.... Cause I hate myself too.  
> but this chapter was important. All the secrets unravel here. 
> 
> but many questions are still left, so stay tuned for the last chapter..
> 
> please leave ur asks and comments down, and don't forget to leave kudos.


	11. I am One Who Loved not Wisely but Too Well

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I am One Who Loved not Wisely but Too Well"  
> \- Othello; Act 5, Scene 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning from the beginning, talk of depression and anxiety and mainly rape recovery.
> 
> Through this chapter I wanted to point out some facts on the issue. That is why I so brutally did the last chapter. Read closely, you might find them out.

“Situations like this are always sensitive. Here we have to count not only the patient’s physical health, but also the mental one.”, the doctor says.

Aman is there, in the ICU, all wired up. The drip of the IV fluid, the constant beeping of the weird monitors, the unknown pressure choking their breathe, Karthik is glad the Dr. Shukla called them in his chamber.

_He has gained his senses, and now sleeping._

Shankar and Karthik, in the Doctor’s room, remain seated in front of Dr. Shukla, who very peacefully explains the trauma Aman can go through in the future. With each passing moment, the anxiety is doubling.

“in these cases, the mental health matters the most. The physical bruises shall fade away soon, but the trauma….” Dr. Shukla heaves a deep sigh.

He looks at the confused pained expression of both Karthik and Shankar.

“he needs support-- ”

“that we’ll provide, Doctor, in ample”, Karthik cuts off.

“I’m sure, you will, Karthik”, the Doctor patiently says, “but Aman will need support starting from the most intimate levels, individually, from all the relationship he has. As a son from his parents, as a lover from you, as a brother from his siblings, as a friend from his friends. All your words, the attitude, the care will all be different.”

Shankar and Karthik look at each other for a moment.

_Seems like we can do things together, can we?_

“after such incidents, what comes the most is self-esteem. The incident that happened was totally against his consent—”

A supressed guilt surfaces in Karthik as he chokes on his small tear. The doctor must have seen it.

“it’s okay Karthik, it was not your fault”

“but I was there, I could have helped him—”

“at the cost of your as well as Aman’s life?”

Karthik sighs at that. It’s true after all.

“since you were there Karthik, at that time, Aman can relate to you the most. You can reach the closest to Aman now.”

“then what should be done now, Doctor?”, Shankar asks.

“As I was saying, let me explain further. During these non-consent incident, the victim cannot control how their body reacts. I repeat Karthik, they **cannot** control it”

Karthik understands why Dr. Shukla said these words specially to him, “I know, Doctor. I will never blame him for it. It was not his fault.”

“can you explain, Karthik?”

“umm-”, Karthik looks from the corner of his eyes, and carefully chooses his words, “he might have- his body might have reacted somewhat positively sometimes, and I KNOW IT’S NOT HIS FAULT. I DON’T BLAME HIM!”

“it’s alright Karthik, I told you! What happens is that, its all hormonal work as after all it’s a sexual intercourse. Our body is the primary vessel here. All of his sensitive spots are touched here. And without his understanding, without any of his own control, his body got roused.

And here comes the problem.

After this Aman shall think, it’s his own fault, that he had his consent, even when he didn’t”

Karthik nods his head, “I know, I tried to talk to him through it, like saying good words, how special he his, because he is-”, Karthik’s voice droops down in the end.

“very well Karthik. He will know, you were there with him. And you will be. What your work is now, and yours too Mr. Tripathi is that, constantly make him aware of his self-esteem. As in most cases, the victim harm themselves, sometimes end themselves, for serious lack of his self-conscious and depression.”

Both the person gasped.

“he will be depressed, yes, but don’t make him sit through those sessions with the therapists. Rather than that, make him do things which he likes. Like- what does he like?”

“he likes reading.”, Karthik suggests, “he loves studying Physics and classic literature.”

“that’s good then. Reading habit is always the best option. Habituated readers have a very low tendency of going through depression.”

“and he also loves cooking”

“perfect! Then take him to cooking classes, or bakery shops. The smells can be very therapeutic.”, the doctor smiles. “and never make him feel like a victim. If he wants to do things independently, let him do it. You being there, rather encourage him. And also value his opinion. Like let him establish it.”

“how?”

Shukla thinks for a while, “like, make him say what he wants to do. Make him say, ‘I want to do this or that’”

Karthik looks confused, “I don’t get it doctor!”

“see, what happens is that, sometimes the victims feel, their opinion no longer is valid for this world. Whatever they will say, no one will listen to them.”

“aah! Okay! I get it! we have to ask for his input in any word and let him say what he wants.”

“yes, Karthik! And I highly recommend, don’t let Aman go through the tension, revolving around you. I maybe an outsider, but as a doctor and a general public, I know what goes on in between the father and the lover here. Don’t let Aman choose sides now.”

The two on question look at each other.

_We have a long way to go._

“okay!”

With that Karthik goes out of the room. While Shankar has stood up to leave the room, their doctor says,

“specially you Mr. Tripathi.”

“ji Dr. Shukla!”

-

Karthik sits at one of the first aid rooms, getting ointment and medicine applied on his injuries. The back of his head, the wrists, his neck are all bruised up. His leg needed a small stich too.

_God! It was a whirlwind of 24 hours._

Just then a message pinged in his phone. Rathe has send it, and it is short. Karthik is very glad about it.

**The circle in Assam is eradicated too.**

Karthik sighs.

Whatever Rathe had told him, his exhausted brain had tried to gather up.

Seemed like the junkie paan wala was the key to everything. Alokchandra Sekhar had fed him an amount of 5 lakhs, enough to give him a false alibi. He was the only one who had seen him to return home late, the night Vikrant was murdered.

After the police had put everything together, they just had to find out the paan wala. Which was easy, cause there are many police informers around the city. He was caught from a local bar.

“the address, why would Alok give me his house address, won’t it become obvious?”

“maybe he wanted it to become obvious. After all, he did say his work is done, before—”

Before he shot himself in mouth, and fell off on the grass bleeding and lifeless.

The police had intruded the den, they had got to know from the junkie. Leaving Aman in Karthik’s arm, Alok had fled, some police had chased after him.

Through the alleyways, he had led them into an open field, under sky of heavy cloud like black velvet.

He had stopped, pulled out his gun and roared, “I did what I did, no regrets. My work is done. And now I am to go to my Chhoti and her mother.”

There was a sinister laugh.

And he had pulled is trigger.

The rest of the den was also cleared out. From the other imprisoners, the police is trying to find out the other dens, under investigation.

Life is hard. It is not what we always seem. Under the grand gestures and beautiful flowers gardens, there always an insect, an worm, that represents the dark side of the human nature.

Karthik closed his eyes. Yes, it is painful.

He wants to shout.

He wants to cry.

Ask everyone in this brutal world, why does everyone, whomever he loves, gets hurt.

He cries like there is so tomorrow.

_Everything so fucking hurts, God we are innocent, please save us!_

Maybe that’s how Chhoti too had cried that day. That 10 years small baby.

And Karthik wants answers. _Why are we the victim?_

Alok’s voice reverberates in his ears

“ _don’t forget to ask Tripathi what history he had with Nishikant_ ”

-

“yahan kyun bulaya Karthik? Hum dono ko?”, Nishikant asks once him, Shankar Tripathi and Karthik, sits in their private booth in the hospital cafeteria.

Karthik huffs, and with a piercing glance look at them. And his voice drops very low as he tries to talk through the pain.

“what history do you have with each other?”

It is a simple direct question. Maybe in other circumstances they would have even blew away the question, but something in Karthik’s voice tugs the elder men.

“what do you mean, Karthik?”, Shankar even has the guts to ask it.

And this raged Karthik, “shut up, Mr. Tripathi”, he shoots up from his seat, “remember your son is lying out there, dozed and bruised and broken. So today, I get to ask, and you to answer.”

He points his fingers at him and asks, again, “what history do you have together”

Shankar had this fearful face plastered on, and Nishikant a very grim one. Karthik sees as his Bapuji places one hand over his rival’s shoulder and says slowly, “we should tell him!”

And he faces towards Karthik, “I don’t know how you got to know this, it was so many years ago, buried deep down in the pages of history.” Karthik looks confused, yet he listened on.

Nishikant huffs, and with one nod from Shankar, he again continues.

“it was almost 25 years ago, Shankar Tripathi and me, we both worked for the same party, we were in alliance. It’s ironic to say, but we were friends.”, both the men gave a sarcastic laughter.

Karthik’s eyes grows comically wide, “what the actual fuck are you saying?”

“language, Karthik!”

“the heck with the language right now. This is what you get to tell me right now? And how the hell is Alok even related to this whole story?”

“Alok? From where Alok will come here?”, Shankar asks.

“well he is the one to ask you two about your—”, and something clicks in Karthik. “there is more to add, isn’t it?”

_Or what led to have such a huge feud between the two party_

“then how come you two are the worst enemies right now?”

The atmosphere grimes again.

“Alok was saying how his wife and his daughter was violated, because of you too”, Karthik tries to put all things together in the equation.

“YOU TWO ARE INVOLVED IN THIS WHOLE THING, AREN’T YOU?”, Karthik shouts. “Alok made it clear, it was a simple act of revenge. He wanted to avenge you through me and Aman. I am asking again, what happened?”

Nishikant and Shankar face all the shame and embarrassment.

“well Karthik”, this time Shankar speaks, “that party broke out, our leader, Saroj Vinayak died, and someone had to be the party leader next. And then greed heaved on us. We both wanted to be the next leader, and thus the party fell apart due to our squabble we made our separate group.”

Nishikant continues, “though I cannot remember clearly, all I can say is that, the separation wasn’t a peaceful one. Our previous party was very powerful, the public listened to our leader. And they got very furious when it was announced the party is ultimately dispersing after his death.

Allegation were made that Vinayakji was somehow murdered. That led to an uprising. And there was many violence on all the parts. Innocent people were murdered, violated and beaten, women and children kidnapped and raped. We being novice party leaders then, somehow got to stop the whole uprising after a long time—”

“And Alok’s family was one of those casualties!”, Karthik horrifyingly stated.

There was no explanation needed further.

He looks up at the politicians, his face pale and dangerous, “Alok’s whole plan was a revenge. FOR YOUR STUPID WORKS, AMAN IS LYING THERE. ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT!”

How much a length a man can go to avenge for his innocent family’s death, one can never know. How Alok had build up an empire, what was his real history, no one knew, and no one will ever know.

But he shattered a son of someone who had shattered his daughter.

He shattered a lover of someone whose father had shattered his lover. 

All it took was an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.

Revenge is a dangerous game, and only the innocent ones are the victims.

-

That night Aman had woken up. When Karthik sees him, he almost breaks down crying. Aman looked so small, drowned in the hospital gown in the large bed.

And he looked so scared, but so expressionless.

He must remember everything, because when he sees Karthik, he breaks in to the most ugly cry, he chokes, his face goes red.

The family members all see as Karthik takes Aman’s head on his chest and rocks him. Aman clutches his lover and cries as heavily as he can. The nurses at last are forced to give him sedative, as Aman again goes back to sleep.

The next day, Aman is a whole new person.

And in the bad way.

He talks little, cannot even complete the whole food he’s given. His mind stays away all the time, and never looked anyone in the eye.

And the worse, he does not even let Karthik near him, to touch him or to sit beside him is a topic of another discussion.

“it has started, all the depression will start to store up in him now. And it’s going to be tough with you, cause you were there with him at that time”, Dr. Shukla says to Karthik, as both of them look through the chamber door where Aman is just staring up at the ceiling.

And Karthik knows his time has come to start his work.

It started with Cala Lilies, the nurses help him to put the flowers all around the room. Aman had woke up in the evening to find his room all blue and sea green, and yes he loved it.

_Karthik had brought him Cala lilies on their Anniversary._

_And they are kept in clay vases, just like the ones he had bought from the husband-wife vendor shop on their date in Old Delhi, on between monuments and mausoleums._

_Karthik had told he loved me._

Aman also received a book, ‘Stories by Jules Verne’, the other day. Inside he found a simple note, black on white

“you are an angel, and I love you”

_Karthik has told me that he loves me._

_But am I worth it?_

Karthik, from the hospital door window keeps on seeing his love.

Then with Lemon squares, with heavy citrus scents. Sunaina brings them to Aman. She is glad that her son is somewhat showing warmth at his parents. But deep down she knows, he’s craving for Karthik.

But he’s so frightened.

“chinta maat karo beta”, she places her palm on Karthik’s head, and soothes him, “tumhara Aman tumhara hi rahega!”

So Karthik sends Lemon Squares through Sunaina.

When his mother enters the room, the delicious fruity baking scent fills the room. Aman at once look at the paper bag.

“Karthik ne bheja hain. Humne bhi ek taste karke dekha, bohot tasty hain”, the mother gently smiles.

Aman then asks slowly, “Karthik ne?”

“haan beta! Karthik ne!”

“kahan hain wo?”

Sunaina supresses her small sad smiles and tries to act as normal possible, “bahar hi hain. Andar bulau usko?”

“haan!”

Karthik, for the next few weeks, always takes the sofa, a little away from the bed. God! He itches to touch Aman’s soft cheeks, ruffle his hair, kiss him and cuddle him to sleep.

But he never dares to go near Aman.

Rather he sits on the sofa, and talks happy things as much as can. This is the only thing he can do. In fact, when just a few days ago, when he had given a glass of water to Aman, his fingertips had just grazed Aman’s hand. And the reaction was violent.

Aman had immediately shaken up from the contact. The glass fell and broke into pieces, the water splashing everywhere. When Karthik had looked up, his heart stood still.

Aman’s beautiful face, it was marred with all the sins, all the scare.

Just like his face on that horrendous days, his face twisted with shock, the heaviness on his eyelids.

“i-I’m sorry, so sorry, Aman”, he tried to pat on his back, but Aman moves away further in to a shell.

Karthik could not take it anymore. He was exhausted. Day and night, he stands beside Aman, walking around him, like walking on eggshells. But how much Karthik is cautious now, Aman is already a broken glass now.

And Karthik fears he will break Aman more. Karthik is never a patient man. He always rushes things.

What if pushes Aman too far?

Hell, he even had crossed that line. Now Aman is afraid of him. His lover couldn’t even take his touch.

So Karthik ran.

Ran out of the hospital room, leaving Aman with the nurses, into the open air.

Crying and heaving in the moisty night.

Aman should be with someone, who shall never give up on him. Who will not run away. Fight with him every single day.

_Aman deserves better._

Aman can fell every bit of the exhaustion pumping through him. He wants to touch Karthik and snuggle into him, but he hates being touched now. Every touch bring back those violent unhappy memories.

The touch that was only reserved for Karthik is snatched away by someone else. His whole skin is forever tainted.

And why the hell Karthik will want to touch him, will want him back, will ever love me again. He told that he loves him. But is that even true?

_Why would he even love him, he is used and broken. No one can even love me back. No one will value me again._

_Will they?_

_Will Karthik?_

So keeps himself as far away possible. He could not even bring up to meet Karthik in the eyes. The next day, Karthik had come again to visit him in his hospital room.

And from the farthest corner he had asked, “how are you?”

“good!”, he answers in his small, sob-filled voice.

_Karthik deserves better._

And he was genuinely surprised when he found Karthik sitting in the sofa, next to the bed, for the rest of his hospital time.

-

“Papa makes it even more obvious, you know?” Aman says it slowly one night.

Aman, after two months in hospital he has come home now. He and Karthik are in his room. Karthik at the farthest spot, going through the mini-library on the wall and Aman under the bed sheets, inclined with his back at the head board.

He has grown stronger physically, the bruises and cuts have fade. But his mental situation still tug him somewhere.

Yes, he misses Karthik, misses being loved by Karthik.

But Karthik has moved on. Its been months now, why wouldn’t he?

He needs to find someone, as strong as him, to run the power alongside him.

Not someone broken like Aman!

Karthik is only here as a friend, helping him, fight his battles every day. Pushes him to voice his thoughts, asks him to tell his opinions on the ongoing debates going over in the T.V. screen. Aman feels good at that. He sees everyone longing for him to give his input in the discussing. He feels a warm sense of acceptance every time.

But he also notice, how Karthik also avoids touching him. He talks about the happy days, but those days, never included their dates, or their alone times.

All of them included the time with friends. And yes, Karthik also avoids saying things about Vikrant.

That is a whole new other case too.

“Let’s not start with that”, Aman tries make himself understand, “I killed him too”

Karthik turns from the book shelves with a book, ‘Jane Eyre’ in his hands. He chuckles, “what?”

Aman slowly shifts under the bedsheets and finds a more comfortable spot, “He wants **not** to treat me like a victim, but he fails horribly.” He laughs a little, “he now fusses over everything I do. I wanted a chocolate last night at god knows what ungodly hour. He bought it to me instantly! He has never pampered me like this before.”

Karthik slowly comes at the edge of the bed. But doesn’t sit.

“you can sit you know, I won’t panic again.” And Karthik obliges this time.

He says, “your papa is fussing around because he loves you”, he slowly pushes the book into Aman’s hand.

_Read it! it’s full of hope, even through the darkest days_ was left unsaid.

“really?”, Aman rolls his eyes, “this was not the scenario of the night when everything went downhill!”

“things take time, Aman!”

“yeah!”, Aman sighs, “umm.. Karthik can I tell something”

Aman sees the man in front of him, shuffles a little on the bed, to turn fully at him. God knows, how much courage he needed to say these words. But he has to. He is bushed up now.

“Anything Aman! I am here”

_Sweet Karthik and his sweet words._

“I know things won’t be normal like before”, Aman starts, he looks down over his flower patterned bedsheets, his fingers edging the book pages.

He perceives Karthik is going to say something, so he cuts off, “listen to me first. Please!”

Everything is dead silent for a minute.

“I know things won’t be like before. Not like how everything felt so normal. Specially not me. I won’t be normal again. Everything has changed.” Aman pushes every word out of his mouth, his eyes nearly giving out tears.

_I have to be strong._

“I can’t be the same Aman Tripathi as before. Even the littlest of things trigger me. I am getting touch-starved, yet I can’t let anyone touch without fear, still now. I get nightmares every night.”

Aman takes a deep breathe as a little tear trickles down his cheek. “but I want to. I want to change things and bring the normal back again.” His fingers fumbles with the book pages and tears choke his throat.

“I am trying to. I am trying to talk with everyone and about everything”. Sob. “but in between everything—”

“in between everything,

**I miss you**!”

Aman stops as his tears comes in full, and his index finger slip and cuts on the pages.

“Aah!”, Aman gasps at the sudden burning.

“Aman watch out!”, Karthik at once jumps to hold Aman’s hand.

And he understands what he has done.

He feels Aman shake at his touch, but somehow managed not to take away his hand.

Karthik looks at Aman in his tear filled watery eyes.

And both of them drink each other in.

Aman sees how watery Karthik’s eyes has become too, and still, with enough bravery tries to keep his hands in Karthik’s bigger ones.

_I’m safe. It’s Karthik. Karthik will keep me safe._

A little drop of blood oozes on the book’s page. And Karthik keeps his tender gaze into Aman’s sad ones, as if to ask for permission.

Aman bits his lower lips and nods his head, new set of tears washing his face red.

He just nods.

As on cue, Karthik brings the finger to his lips, licks the cut with his tongue and draws in a little bit of the last drop of oozed out blood. Still keeping his eyes set on Aman.

The warm sensation with the softness, on the sensitive skin of his fingers, Aman feels different.

The touch is new.

“Ka-Karthik!” he stutters. “please don’t leave me. I miss you

I need you!”

Karthik drops his hand, and immediately wraps his small baby in his arms. Aman clutching on his chest.

Karthik too lets his tears roll.

Yes.

He also gets to let out his inner turmoil.

“I will never leave you, love. I can’t leave someone who is so perfect!”

“I am not perfect, Karthik. I am broken, damaged goods.” Aman sniffs his lover’s neck.

The smell of sandalwood. It’s comforting.

Karthik combs through his hair, “we all are broken, at some and at the same level. And that is what makes us human.”

“but.. but you should hate me”, Aman looks up at Karthik. Yearning.

_Yearning for acceptance?_

Karthik smiles sadly, “I can never hate you, you brought me up from my darkest days”, he cups his face, “you took me back, even when I had left you for two years. You always gave me time. And now it’s my turn.”

“am I worth it, Karthik?”

“you tell me, are you?”, Karthik rubs his cheeks with his thumb, “you always stood up for yourself. Remember, when I had come out to Bapuji, and came to you with all my pent up emotions? You helped me to get out of there. And yet you told me not to take you for granted.

So tell me, are you worth it, Aman?”

Instead answering, Aman pushes himself up, and looks for the last time in Karthik’s eyes, and presses his lips on his lover’s.

The kiss is slow, yet in sync. As if every tiredness flows through it. It is a kiss, that took trust and courage. And every last bit of their own self.

Soft lips brush against each other, mapping every fold. It is not deep, no tongues involved, just a simple kiss shared between two young broken courageous lovers.

As Aman cuts of the kiss he keeps his forehead against Karthik and crawls fully onto his lap.

“Karthik!”, it comes out as a plea, “make me bath, please.” His lower lips wobble, “help me scrub off his touch. I still feel him on my skin.”

Without another word, Karthik lifts him off, Aman’s hand and legs around his shoulders and waist, he takes him to the attached bathroom. He places his koala bear on the slab, runs down a mixture of hot and cold water in the tub.

He comes to Aman again and slowly start uncovering his clothes. Aman lets him. He knows what he is doing. And he wants to give his everything in it.

It is nothing sexual or in any way passionate. It is just a lover bathing his other lover, scrubbing his past away, to replace with new ones.

“your ma, bought you a new belly chain.”, Karthik tells as he applies soap on his legs.

Aman chuckles, “yeah?”

“yes! And this time, I saw it, it has lilies carved on it.”

“I love lilies!”

“I know, blue Cala Lilies”

The bathroom is lit with fragranced candles.

The room outside is at peace. The window allowed cool air, ruffling the pages of the book, a copy of ‘Jane Eyre’;

**“God pardon me and man meddle not with me:**

**I have her, and will hold her.**

**I will atone— it will atone.**

**I will guard and cherish and solace her.**

**There is love in my heart, and constancy in my resolve.**

**It will expire at God’s tribunal.**

**I know my Maker’s sanctions for what I do.**

**For the world’s judgement—**

**I wash my hands thereof.”**

Under it a drop of blood slowly blooms into dark red as it eternally gets smeared on the page.

Days are going slow, but growing. Each passing day, Karthik and Aman find their new resolve. And the situational awkwardness are diffusing day by day.

Though Aman still gasps when Karthik presents his undying eternal love for him, and still somewhere doubts it (Aman swears the devil side of every human being is saying it, he trusts and believes, Karthik is forever with him), Karthik never falls back to say it. He will remind Aman every day, how much he loves him, and it’s a lifelong commitment.

Until he has a plan.

He comes to Aman’s house now, regularly.

Yes! They are now at liberty. After all the stuff that happened the parents thought for it to be the best. They did not make any public appearance, and has no plan to do so any near time. Both of them have to settle their lives first.

The whole Alok Shekar case was dropped in the hands of Mr. Rathe. Of course he hid the private details, only leaving the Gang and the illegal circle related cases stretching it up to Vikrant’s murder.

And the riot was also put down by force. And with the essential supplement of goods.

So yeah, things are slowly going back to places.

But some people still had a bug in their heart. That’s Nishikant and Shankar. Without them even knowing they had become the villain of the story.

After all it started with them.

Karthik had come to forgive Nishikant slowly, he was still after all his Bapuji, who had fed him, educated him and brought him up to be a fine man.

The apology was long.

Shankar Tripathi is a another story.

That day, Karthik have come to Aman’s house. Karthik wanted to take him out for a date, to get him familiarize with social life. He is waiting at the drawing room, when Shankar calls him to the sofa.

Karthik is surprised to be honest. There is still a tiff within the two men. Other family members have opened up to him, but Shankar Tripathi is a long shot. Not to mention, the dinners are the most awkward ones.

So Karthik is truly shocked today.

“Sit, Karthik! I wanted to talk about something to you”

Karthik sits and waits for what has to come.

“I am sorry!”

Now that is something, he **DID NOT EXPECT!**

Karthik raises his eyebrows, “really?”

Shankar hangs his head low, “haan beta! Jo kuch bhi hua, humare pichle paap karmo ki wajha se hua hain! Aaj Aman jahan hain usske liye hum zimedar hain.”

Karthik stiffs at the words.

“yes you are. Aman, Vikrant, me, we all were the baits in this game. Alok had killed himself off, he will meet his penalty from Him”, Karthik scoffs, “though I really wanted to see him hanged.” Bitterness came as vile in his mouth.

“the revenge was delivered very cruelly.”

“yes, Mr. Tripathi! At the cost of your son!”

That stung right into Shankar’s old heart, “I know, I am paying the prices for it.”, he teared up, “and I am asking your forgiveness.”

“you should ask your son for that!”, Karthik asks with his lips turned thin.

“I did! And he forgave me. And I’m asking your forgiveness now. You love my son, and tried to push you away. That led us here today! Please forgive me.”

Shankar clasps his hand in front of the young man and cried.

_Forgiveness seeks no age. Acceptance as well._

Karthik lowers his hand. After careful choice of words, he asks, “so you bless us?”

Shankar looks up to him, “the very day when I saw you holding my son at the hospital. I can think of no other person.”

Karthik puts on a serious face, “I love your son, Mr. Tripathi. More than anyone. And now I will do everything to keep him safe, and happy and warm. And so I wanted to ask him something—”

“ _Iss bar Election me toh humare baba se unke seat le liya aapne. Ab unke bete ka haat le saakte hain unse_?” 

“ _Aapke mohabbat ke liye toh hum maut bhi leh saakte hain_!” 

Shankar nods.

When Aman comes downstairs after getting ready, and already out of the door, Shankar stops Karthik at the entrance.

He smiles and says, “Aaj se papa bulana!”

Karthik firmly nods, and touches his feet.

A few minutes later, Ravi makes a call.

“arey Sundar! Motichoor ke laddoo order karna. Ghar mein shubh muhurat hain!”

\---------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with this we come to an end of this. You know how this ends, make ur assumptions. 
> 
> Damn! this was quite a jouney, and i am honestly surprised you guys are still here. i left the story TWICE (or more) midway. This story was not planned, like my other multichap, but you guys loved it... and supoorted it. I can never thank you enough.
> 
> don't forget to leave your comments and leave kudos.
> 
> i love you, all of you.
> 
> And stay happy, and keep others happy  
> ~Ta!


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